Well, what can you do? And where can you do it? As to the rest, you are - again - overestimating the context one can get from the written word and underestimating the context you can get from interpersonal interaction. Hell, let's skip interaction. Let's just go to the context that's possible from an image. What can you surmise about this person? We're not jumping to conclusions, now. We can see that he's a young adult male. We can guess as to a few other things and those guesses will help establish our other assumptions about him. It's not a lot to go on, but it's enough to distinguish them pretty distinctly from this person: ...yet they both come up for the image search "waiter." Compare and contrast by what you can tell about a person from their name: You seem to be insisting that you can somehow "learn" something about a person by interacting with them online. I'll say for the third time that you are grossly, demonstrably, succinctly incorrect. You can disagree with that all you want, but it will not change the fact that the facts, the research and the general experience of online interaction are at odds with your theories. And, once again, my assertion is that those who grew up "online" are worse at picking up the differences. How old are you?
I'm 30. Just on the cusp, but spent most of my formative years internet-free. As for marketable skills: I've done audio editing for a good ten years, but I've only been decent at it for four or five. Done some production work (spanning from setting up for live events to recording to "can I get you more coffee?"), learning more about recording but didn't go to school for it because of the cost. Studying under some Real Deals, though. And I've got a good ear. I have no experience waiting tables, so that's right out.
You already figured that out from another exchange we had. Who says you can't tell anything about a person from brief online interactions? I'm only halfway serious about the job thing. Truth be told, I don't know if I can stand Seattle much longer- we're probably making tracks in the next year. I appreciate even the ghost of seriously considering my request, though.
;-) But there you go - there's no reason to presume I would remember the exchange. I trade emails with seven or eight Redditors regularly. They initially found me through Reddit. But I cannot - for the life of me - keep track of who they are on Reddit. We remember the details that are important, and in a sea with no memory, details like that drift away.