shouldiwatchthis.net is the newest film from acclaimed director, editor, writer, critic, cook, lovemaker, and all around man's man Egan Dunne, known best by his alias "JTHipster" or "Long Dong Silver" in many nightclub circles.
It is beautiful in every way. Its totally not the overinflated ego of single human being clasping in desperation at the last tiny shreds of talent as his life spirals downwards towards the ever quickening oblivion, the lines on his face deepening with every horrifying tick of the clock. Its also totally not a way to get people to come to a site that will generate ad revenue. Yes I will use ads. The minute I have to ability to sell myself out I will gladly do so and freely tell you about it. If a company approaches me and tells me they will give me several thousand dollars to get their logo tattooed on my chest, sure, fuck it. Come on guys. Free advertising space. I'm looking at you Calvin Klein. You want to market that new perfume? Right here. I'm just a fleshy, pulsating billboard.
What does this all actually mean? Well for one, it means no fan request friday tonight, sorry guys. It also means I'm going to be cutting back from 5 a week to 3 + requests on Fridays, since one of my intentions with the site is to allow some time for reflection and to basically do better reviews.
Over the past three weeks my reviews have basically been written within minutes of watching the film, or within hours if I saw it in a theater, and while that's certainly a perspective, its made them a bit sloppy. That's fine here, but if I'm going to ask for you guys to put up with being marketed to then I'm going to give you a better review at the end of it. At least some of the times.
3 movies a week is still more than most humans will ever do.
This also means that I will no longer be linking to [imdb.com](imdb.com) through hubski unless they pay me. Yes imdb, I'm for sale. I am totally okay with selling out to you. Rotten tomatoes? They're the worst. For $100 a month I will include a sentence in every review that tells people how bad Rotten Tomatoes is. That price goes up if I get over 1k regular readers. I know how to play this game. Come at me bro.
Instead I will be linking to shouldiwatchthis.net once I get it from "who the fuck just registered this domain?" to "hey look there's a website here oh god why are they trying to sell me luxury cheese and bad movies?!" Looking at you, Asylum Films and Dairy Unions. Please do not use adblock. Its not terribly expensive to host the site but I'd like to be able to pay for it without having to pull money from my pocket. I like my pocket lined with thick wads of cash to throw at the throngs of screaming fans outside my window. First I'll need the screaming fans. And the money. And the window. Also I'll need to get out of the cardboard box that I type all of these reviews from.
I'm getting sidetracked. Fuck. What was I even talking about? Oh right a site. Go there. It will be done soon enough. All of my reviews will be posted there, all of the old ones I mean. Plus the new ones, which will also be posted here. The tag will stay the same, because of course. Yes you can still use the tag. That one time insomniasexx posted a review of a documentary was fine. Seriously, its all right if you post them here on hubski. If you post them anywhere else I will sue you for like, five whole dollars. My lawyers will be on your ass until you go down to subway and get me a five dollar footlong. Man, what a perfect place to mention Subway's great prices and values. Too bad I wasn't paid to advertise it.
I'll be working with mk as the site progresses to get a hubski mirrored chat there, so be on your best behavior.
If I make actual money, I'll do some video reviews so you can see my hideous, hideous visage, that will haunt you all until the day you die.
NOT DONE
Websites lol.
I'm so proud of you! Growing up in front of our eyes!
Well I couldn't have grown up this well without the safety and assurance of a Gerber Life Insurance program. Did you know you can get up to $50,000 of life insurance for just pennies a day? Now that's what I call a cheap reminder of the increasing presence of the spectre of death in your life as it slowly whittles down you friends and family in your old age. I should go in to marketing.
Glad you're doing this. I promise to not run ad-block, just for you. Keep 'em coming, they've been great.