'Second Guess' I sense you.
Stifled by repression
Hidden
But over-obsession threatens through
Hindsight and prediction
Inner confliction
Beckons you
When exposed to the unknown
You attempt to arise
And as I try and pry the grasp you have inside
I wonder whether you’re ever going to subside
Are you just part of me or some separate entity?
Meticulously analysing every possibility
It’s a stark contrast to the past where
decisions were made fast without your fragility.
You’re overgrown, unwanted
The weed whose seed
Is too deeply sown
To simply curtail
If your reason for existence is to offer resistance
Then I refuse to bow at your insistence.
Persistence is your key, but honestly
I’m in control.
wrenauld wrote me that he had trouble posting a response to you. He sent it to me to see if I have better luck. thenewgreen told me there were some bugskys to work out so that might be part of the problem. Here is wrenauld's response to you: hey rezzeJ, your poem really resonates with me. Anxiety!!! Raaahh!!! It seems like I may be working with some similar issues. Anyway, wonderful poem. Though it's partially cliche to say, it does feel good knowing that "I'm not alone" - to know that my issues are not WHOLLY particular, but actually experienced by in some sliver of resemblance, by others : ) P.S. A month back I commented on a post, trying to articulate some of my anxieties. Here it is, in case you're curious: http://hubski.com/pub?id=69711It’s a stark contrast to the past where
decisions were made fast without your fragility.
I like this way of wording it. I'm often nostalgic for an older version of my reality, when this double-conscious or "internal persistent resistance" [paraphrase] wasn't so busy scrutinizing my decisions.
Hi rezzeJ - Have you seen this video about how eminem puts together rhymes. He does't get to talking about eminem until about 3'16" -- The speaker says that rap music liberated the rhyme scheme from the usual end-of-line pattern. (This isn't true of course given that "The Raven" was written in 1845), but my point is that your internal rhymes in this poem reminded me of the rhymes in Lose Yourself. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your poems in these threads. I saw the other new one, but haven't had a chance to reply yet.
Yeah, I caught that video on Reddit, quite interesting. I quite like the idea of rapping but I've never consider myself as having the right demeanor for it. To that end I just decided to kind of try to cross that with my love of creative writing. I've tried writing stuff without rhymes but I find it less expressive, I have an addiction to finding interesting rhymes. Thanks to these prompts I've only just started taking poetry seriously, before that I just made silly Haikus and Limericks. So thank you.
Are you just part of me or some separate entity?
This line seems to reframe this wonderful piece as a meditation on parts of the self? I love listening to the internal rhymes and rhythm of this piece, but also like to understand. Is this a new piece or a song you wrote before? Anyway, it's great.