My dad is currently playing victim to a romance scam on Facebook. Thankfully, it's a simple Western Union scam, and my disabled father isn't actually leaving the safety of his own house, he's simply wired thousands of dollars over a period of almost a year to someone who he thinks is a penthouse model living in Missouri, but is most likely a large black man living in Nigeria. He still thinks she is going to show up one day to cook his meals and clean his house and marry him and start a new family with him. He is 50, "she" is supposedly 36... and deaf, which explains why she doesn't own a phone (lol). I have tried and tried and tried to convince him that she isn't real and is just a criminal leeching off of him until he has nothing more to give, but he becomes irate with me and will not listen. It's almost been a year since he first met this person online, and he has sent probably $5k in that time. He receives a disability check of $2k per month, so that is almost three months pay. Not chump change for a disabled man living alone. I don't know what to do at this point except make sure that I will be here for him when he finally realized he has been lied to and scammed. Every time he brings it up, I tell him how I feel, and he gets upset with me. She is supposedly flying in every few weeks, but something always comes up, and then she needs more money. It's gotten to the point where I will avoid him so I don't have to have the same conversation. He is stubborn and very much believes that children should not question their parents. He says God spoke to him, and she is the answer to his prayers. I feel so powerless and upset at this point that I avoid his calls because it is causing physical manifestations of stress. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? I keep hoping he will finally see the light. How many times can a grown man be lied to before he figures it out? He is a very smart man, college educated and a linguist. He has MS, a degenerative brain disease, but his symptoms are very mild and mostly physical. He walks with a cane and his hands shake to the point where he cannot type very fast anymore, which is why he is on disability (formerly he was a medical transcriptionist). My mother passed away a year ago, and he met this person online not even a month afterwards. I know that love and grief both cloud your judgement, but this is ridiculous.
First of all, I'm sorry to read this. I'm not really sure what it is you can do to make your father realize the hoax. I wish I had a better suggestion, but all I can think of is to try to find a way to take your father to her. There's no way she can talk herself out of you guys visiting her. Another suggestion would be to find someone else that this is happened to and put them in contact with your father. It could help to have someone who's been through this explain it to him. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this and I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. If there is a hell, then surely there is a special place in it for those that prey on the weak. Good luck.
I'm so sorry to hear about your father. It must be a terrible situation to find yourself in, made even more difficult because he may also be acting from a place of pain and grief. The US Department of State has a page on identifying internet love scams as well as a resource guide for those who are victims of one. While the page is aimed at international financial scams, several of the resources appear to be available to victims of a domestic one as well, in case the penthouse model in Missouri is actually another widower in Florida.