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Your thoughts are interesting. Personally, I wouldn't change a word (except maybe "wiping"). Much of the delight of poetry is in the rhyme and rhythm. jesushx's hard last line which rhymes with wrought and fault (and what) totally makes the poem for me.
Thanks! Yeah, maybe I'd change wiping to tending... I was thinking about djw's ideas, and going over it in my head off on and on yesterday, and couldn't quite make the change. It might make it better, but it also changed it into a different poem. And this was the one in me. Though, I don't write poetry and never studied it, so I was afraid it might come off a bit limerick-ish :)