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comment by hiss
hiss  ·  4311 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Decline of Friendship?

The worst kind of lowest common denominator opinion, filled with "I" statements, to follow. Consider yourself warned...

I'm 'good at' being social, though I'd probably rate as an introvert. It's easy for me to make friends of strangers and I'm generally well behaved. I can relate to people from all walks of life with relative ease and consider myself a curious listener, more prone to follow up on what someone else says in conversation with a question than a personal anecdote.

I'm terrible at making friends online. I've done it, but it's primarily been local people I can actually interact with. I'm of the mind that what works in personal, live interaction doesn't online, and vice versa. The kinds of conversations we have with other human beings in the flesh - even the most provocative and interesting conversations, think of your favorite story from an interesting person on a podcast in which two or more people are having a chat - can be written off with a tl;dr, cool story, bro. Conversely, a lot of the more lengthy, involved, perfectly executed posts in a comments thread - even on hubski - would come off as boring, obstinate, and weird in person.

I think I'm wasting a lot of time/space saying the same thing others have said in the thread, but from the perspective of someone who's actually rather distressed about it all. Hubski's been a bit of an experiment for me because, like the author of this piece (you), I didn't get involved in reddit in any meaningful way and never cared for digg. The only online groups I've joined have been locally focused with a shared interest - Chicago music, Chicago sports, etc. - and from there I have made friends but always preferred more direct modes of contact, beginning at face-to-face and extending no further than facebook or email.