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comment by kleinbl00
kleinbl00  ·  4789 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: A song I wrote and recorded with "The New Green" after I saw breast implants..
My votes?

- Organ hook is infectious. I'm fond. I'd take it out of the realm of Farfisa and go for more of an overdriven B3 sound. I'd also flaunt it. It's a little hesitant.

- Guitar solo should be an octave lower. Yeah, you can hit the high registers but it needs presence below.

- that big empty hole prior to the solo needs a "manic street preacher"-type spoken-word piece hawking the beauty equivalent of Ginsu knives, etc, ideally through a megaphone-style slapback.

- Push drums. U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday" as an example - forcing time at the midbeat so that the drums have that urgent "trying to catch up" sort of feel while also being precisely on time.

- No comments on mix because I'm on a laptop.

The lyrics speak to the lunacy of "obeying Madison Avenue" to coin a phrase. There should be a little "stop the world I want to get off" to the production. It's definitely a song worthy of revisiting with a little more deliberation. Nice job!





thenewgreen  ·  4788 days ago  ·  link  ·  
Thanks for listening kb and for putting some thought in to the response. I like all of the suggestions. I wrote the organ hook on the guitar, it's actually a Rhodes. I agree though, I need to bump it up in the mix. Perhaps have something else mirror it.

The "manic street preacher" suggestion is right on the money. I've known all along that I wanted to do the "megaphone" vocal, just not sure yet what I want it to say/or how. I prefer to let something that significant occur naturally. -still waiting for that spark.

I'd like to add some hand claps at some point.

No need to comment on the mix... yet. After we mix and prior to final mixing, I'll post another version for your consideration, if you don't mind. I really do appreciate the feedback and encouragement, thanks again.