a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by Owl
Owl  ·  4325 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What are you doing with your life, why, and how do you feel about it?  ·  

I am about to get my drivers license, and hopefully after that a job working as a school lunch helper in some public school.

I'm actually pretty happy with how things are going so far. With this job (If I get it), I get about the same amount of vacation time as the students do, which gives me free time to pursue my interests, while also having the ability to work on other things and save up money for any investments.

I live a peaceful life where no one bothers me for rent or noise complaints.

I don't really care for college at the moment, since I don't wanna get in debt. Besides, I'd go to college to either study philosophy (something you can't really get employment from) or something in computers, which is a field that is replete with the do-it-yourself spirit. Everything I could want to learn about computers in a college, I could learn on my own.

I don't have that tick-tocking feeling you have, but that might be because I have a rather odd view of life. I have hopes and dreams like everyone else, but I don't mind if I never achieve them. I came into this life with nothing. I didn't even ask to be brought into this world, and I get to experience all the joys and horrors this world has to offer at no discernible cost. There seems to be no purpose to life, so all I want to do is make myself happy, and it turns out that doesn't require fame, fortune, a lofty position or anything really. I have tons of books on my bookshelf, perhaps 50 years worth of books and many more I don't have but want, and I'm sure I'll never be able to read them all while I'm also listening to tons of great music, playing tons of neat games, watching tons of interesting videos, and doing lots of cool stuff. My only regret is not being able to experience all of it. And that regret goes away when I realize I experienced at least some of it.

I'd like to one day create something really great, be it a game, or some music, or write some long novel or play, or do some poetry, or maybe all of the above, and release it in the public domain one day. I don't know what it is, but I want people to experience it and really feel something they've never felt before. I want it to be something that really makes you feel human. But if I don't ever get a chance to do that, well, no harm done.

The only thing in life I'm particularly melancholic about is my love life. That's the one thing in life I feel really nervous about. It's even hard to explain what makes me so nervous, but I guess the best way to explain it would be a low self-esteem towards myself and being in a relationship with someone I love. I'll deal with that when it comes, if it comes, if I let it come.

Aside from that, everything is just fine and I wish for life to remain in this same easy-going mode, which, given the fact that it's life, is no guarantee. It takes one war and draft and I'm in prison (Because I don't want to fight in a war and hurt people) or hiding in some foreign country. I haven't decided which one I'd do yet. Who knows what life has in store for me? I sure as hell don't.





steve  ·  4325 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I don't know what it is, but I want people to experience it and really feel something they've never felt before.

some day we'll all be able to say "we knew you when".

    doesn't require fame, fortune, a lofty position or anything really

you've got some good stuff figured out.

Owl  ·  4321 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    some day we'll all be able to say "we knew you when".

Oh, don't count on being able to say that anytime soon. I haven't even decided what I'd do and what I'd want to say. Perhaps it'll be about this trouble! I love the encouragement though.

    you've got some good stuff figured out.

I hope I do... I'm often unsure of myself. Some people think they're the only thing in the universe that exist--solipsists--and that everything is just a fabrication of their imagination. I'm the opposite; I often wonder if I don't exist and am perhaps some automaton created by the collective wills, hopes, dreams, etc., of everyone else, and the reason I can't ever seem to understand anything is because everyone elses ideas and thoughts amalgamated into the container I call myself and now I have to jumble all of these contradictory positions and form something like a coherent perspective...

isla_es  ·  4325 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Man, you seem like a philosopher ALREADY. Ever read/listened to any Allen Watts?

thenewgreen  ·  4325 days ago  ·  link  ·  

A couple of nice Alan Watts posts on Hubski

here

and right here

The guy may have the best voice ever.

isla_es  ·  4325 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thanks for those!

thenewgreen  ·  4200 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You're welcome!

Owl  ·  4321 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I've heard of Mr. Watts, but I haven't read anything by him yet, since I'm still on Plato on a very long list of Philosophers to read, and that's just Western Philosophy.

I did watch the two videos that thenewgreen linked to, and I sense a certain kind of eastern flair to his philosophy that's pretty neato. I quite like the little bit of Eastern Philosophy that I've read, sometimes fancying it greater than most Western Philosophy, letting it influence my worldviews quite a bit more than Western Philosophy.

In any case, whenever I do get around to him, I'll make sure to read everything he's ever done.

BLOB_CASTLE  ·  4322 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Do you want to live off the land with me one day?

Owl  ·  4321 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Not sure if serious; I'll assume so:

I've often fantasized about living "off the grid" or even being homeless, and I mean I seriously considered it as an ethical position to take. Especially the homeless part, as I often admire Diogenes and his homelessness as an act of rebellion against what he saw was a corrupted society. My reasons for doing so would be less for the criticism of society and more for a personal need for simplicity and consequently a reduction of waste and suffering to others.

So yeah, one day I might take you up on that offer. Not now, because filial obligations tie me to the grid. But one day. I might just save up just enough money to attempt self-sufficiency in the future. This reminds me, I really do need to read Walden...

BLOB_CASTLE  ·  4321 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It was serious. As soon as my student loans are paid off I'm going to live off the land.