The three stages of smokers: 1) Before they smoke. Shit, that looks disgusting. Why would someone do that? It is so sad that they are stuck out there smoking, they don't even look like they are enjoying it. 2) As a smoker. Shit, that reminds me I need a cig. I wonder if they've got one I can have. 3) As an ex-smoker. Shit, that sort of makes me want to smoke. No, remember, smoking is bad for you. Ugh, but it looks so good.
As an ex-smoker I never have the urge to smoke. The only thing I miss is the extra breaks at work which came with the territory - breaks that non-smokers are looked down upon for taking. No one seems to have a problem in most industries with repeated unscheduled smoke breaks, but if you're not smoking you'd better not be standing around doing nothing unless it's a scheduled break. This isn't true of all industry, only most that I have participated in (construction management/engineering/construction labor/retail management).
I started smoking again on the first day of my current position. Extra breaks, boss smokes - on some smoke breaks real business plans are hashed out, information is exchanged which normally wouldn't be, and a sense of comradere is shared which trumps the normal co-worker acquaintance paradigm - But now I have an e-cig and I only go out when I think it will be significant because I don't want to die.
At this point I miss the social aspects more than anything. It is nice to just step out with a few friends and chat for like 5 minutes.
I never experienced relaxation or pleasure from hurriedly sucking down a cigarette. I only experienced a nicotine high with the first cigarette of the morning, never with any subsequent unless I waited three hours for the next. A nice cigar on the other hand, that always resulted in relaxation, but that had more to do with the environment which came with the territory: a stick, an easy chair, some Blues emanating from my eighties-vintage Infinity speakers, and a pour of GlenDronach went a long way toward taking the edge off even the worst of days.
I don't miss that aspect as I'm a bit of a misanthrope on jobsites - smoking was something I'd do alone at work to give myself a break from having to deal with the ego battles that are part-and-parcel to building trade environments.
Yea, thought it isn't a sure thing. But I don't know many people who one day decided "oh man I am going to become a smoker now". It seems that the general pattern is something like Friends start smoking -> Follow them out (while drunk) and smoke one -> Repeat a month later, then a week later, etc -> Friends yell at you to stop just bumming cigarettes so you buy your own pack -> Realize you are a smoker. At least, that is how it happened to me.
I can only speak from my own and a few friends experience, so take it as it is. If he smokes socially then he still smokes. The only way to quit is to decide you'll never smoke again. My history... I started smoking the summer before sophomore year of college (late enough that I probably should have known better). I would say for the first 6 months I was strictly a social smoker in that I never purchased my own pack. This eventually crumbled as I started to smoke to relieve stress from school. I would quit for a bit occasionally, I almost never smoked when I was home on summer vacation for example. After graduating college (about 2.5 years ago), I decided it was time to be done for real. The only problem was that I kept making drunk (and sometimes less than drunk) exceptions for social smoking. I would like to say now that I've quit, but it has only been a few months since my last very drunk cigarette. I have to keep the mindset that I'm done for good and there are no exceptions or else I know I will fall back.