"At the far end of the story of love, a loved one becomes a major part of our neocortex. After being together, a virtual other exists in the neocortex such that we can anticipate every step of what our lover will say and do. Our neocortical patterns are filled with the thoughts and patterns that reflect who they are. When we lose that person, we literally lose part of ourselves. This is not just a metaphor - all the vast pattern recognizers that are filled with the patterns reflecting the person we love suddenly change their nature. Although they can be considered a precious way to keep that person alive within ourselves, the vast neocortical patterns of a lost loved one turn suddenly from triggers of delight to triggers of mourning."
This is from a Ray Kurzweil book, in case anyone wanted the source. How to Create a Mind: The Secret of Human Thought Revealed is the title. This is actually a really interesting topic, considering the neocortex is typically associated with higher functions like consciousness, language understanding and production, cognition, abstraction, problem solving, motor and sensory integration, etc. Normally, emotional things like love and empathy will be associated with the limbic regions, which are really considered the 'emotional core' of the brain. However, since we as people have to evaluate others' behavior (body language, behavioral patterns, general emotional signals, etc.) so often, emotions really begin in the parts of our brains responsible for logical analysis. After we process the data, it becomes closer to love. As far as his idea that you lose a part of yourself when a loved one leaves, it's not wholly understood why we get sad; his idea is just one of theories. Some more, relatively easy reading if you're interested here
Is this to mean that love is a higher function of the brain?
Well it depends on how you're talking about love. The feeling of love, similar to sadness or anger (although not exactly the same), is not a higher function. The development of the relationship with a person that yields a feeling of love, though, certainly involves the neocortex heavily, on account of the higher function processes needed to build and analyze a relationship. So love isn't a higher function; it is somewhat a byproduct of it.
Oh okay, I'm picking up what you're throwing down. So aren't all emotions then just byproducts of our higher functions?
But this article is saying that love seems to be above all of the other byproducts, yes?
Losing love is like a window in your heart Everybody sees you're blown apart Everybody sees the wind blow - Paul Simon
“There are many types of pain. The only one that aspirin won't help is a hurting heart. That's why there is alcohol.” ― Brian MacLearn
This quote made me think of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". The depths of love and the connection between people can be astounding. A very cool topic to think about. Your brains physical and emotional attachment to another person becoming a part of yourself.
From Kurzweil, R. (2012). How To Create A Mind.