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comment by kleinbl00
kleinbl00  ·  4375 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Frozen Texas Toast and the End of the World

Dated a girl. She had a sister. Sister had a roommate. Roommate bought Pepperidge Farm Frozen Texas Toast by the cartload. Freezer had eight boxes of the shit last time I checked.

...which was 1998.

Clearly, the world didn't end. The roommate was exactly the sort of person you'd expect - an overweight, underkempt math student with a real fear of flavor. They're out there. And they've been buying frozen Texas Toast for a long damn time.

Thing is, there was no clamoring for frozen Texas Toast when pepperidge farm came out with it. It was something that got created, marketed, distributed and purchased and it has remained on the shelves for fifteen years or more. It's not like anyone seeks out "texas toast" when they go shopping... but as they cruise the frozen food aisle, which is kind of the Furr's Cafeteria for Those Who Can't Cook, "Texas Toast" pops up as a starchy bread product that hasn't been deep fried. Add it to your fish sticks and it's actually "healthy" (well, not... but compared to Ore-Ida Crinklers it's a toss-up). And guaranteed - Pepperidge Farm can make Texas Toast hella cheaper than you can.

That's why they're selling it.

Everybody loves Trader Joe's. The thing nobody realizes is that Trader Joe's sells as little fresh produce as they can and as much frozen and pre-packaged shit as they can stuff the shelves with. Ask any farmer - the money isn't in the crops, the money is in the prep. Apples don't pay half as well as apple juice and apple sauce. Strawberries are nothing compared to strawberry jam. Wheat? Fuck that. Flour? Fuck that. Bread? Fuck that.

Frozen fucking texas toast. That's where the money's at. If it weren't, they wouldn't sell it. Yeah, it's disgustingly bad for you. Yeah, toast is stupid easy to make. Yeah, it's one of the seven signs of the apocalypse. I guess I'm just used to it because the first time I saw it Clinton was president. Now, you wanna see the end of the world?

Boo Yah. Frozen. Fucking. Rice.

Trader Joe's has managed to take the cheapest, easiest foodstuff on earth, prep it, and package it to quadruple the price. Before too long they'll be selling ice cubes and calling it "frozen organic spring water."





wrenauld  ·  4374 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Wow. If I ever went to Trader Joe's, it was usually for cheaper peanut butter and tasty cereals. I never sought out their frozen foods, so I had a blind spot. But come to think of it, they're bursting with them. It's like their whole business platform. I wonder if they've got some sort of business partnership with GE. "We will make foods that people need microwaves and ovens to make." I don't know. Clearly, another indication of the End of the World <slightly facetious>

thenewgreen  ·  4375 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The comments under the link to the TJ Rice are so awesomely fake. That or people are so awesomely stupid.

Ann Arbors original whole foods upgraded to a larger building and Trader Joes occupied their old one. People were really excited in anticipation of TJ's and because I'd never been to one, I was too. Then I went and was kind of shocked. It's not a place I go to unless we are throwing a party for people last minute and those people don't care much for food/beer/wine. Which is to say I never shop there.

Edit: some of their frozen food is admittedly good though. But thems dangerous waters.

kleinbl00  ·  4375 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's grocery outlet for hipsters. I'll be there in half an hour because you generally do get better processed food than you do from the local Kroger/Ralph's/Fred Meyer/whatevertheycallitwhereyoulive. But man, their produce sucks. There's another discussion there.

b_b  ·  4375 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The only thing worse than the produce at TJ's is the staff. Why are they always so happy to be working a meaningless job for what I can only imagine is a pittance? Well, that and their coffee is undrinkable, at least all the varieties I've tried.

kleinbl00  ·  4375 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Interesting. In Los Angeles and Seattle, at least, the staff at TJ's are stable and friendly. They remember you. It looks like they pay substantially better than Safeway or Albertson's.

The trick to Trader Joe's coffee is to buy beans, and buy the expensive ones. And, based on where you're at, you might still fail. They used to have Santa Fe Coffee Co beans but now they only have ground; that was a heartbreaker. As it is, their beans do me fine most of the time. Not great but better than Starbucks, as good as Coffee Bean.

b_b  ·  4375 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Actually that pay isn't really all that bad. More than I made at my high school job (more than a decade ago, but probably still higher in real dollars).

Maybe I had bad luck with the coffee. I tried two varieties out of the many they sell before I called it quits.

kleinbl00  ·  4375 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Probably more than I would have gone for if I hadn't tried good stuff first.