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Thank you, that’s helpful. Indeed, we split soon after the 10 year mark. My friend told me the other day I grieve “like a man” where I went on a yolo denial fun spree the first 3 months and the sadness and loss is catching up now. A frankly sexist assessment by name, but she’s right about what happened. I feel my ex had the opposite process. Thankfully, I’ve never been a mean or agressive drunk. More a fun and reckless one - which from a sober person looking in is definitely annoying but great with other drinking friends. But my newfound sad drunk energy sucks for everyone so time for a hard reset.