Polyamory is a fancy word for "this isn't gonna work how you expect" and it's also the reason I have a former employee with a restraining order against a former client.

Having watched from the sidelines all these years, I can also say with no hesitation that 'boomers were better at it than GenX was better at it than millennials was better at it than GenZ at the same age. I suspect this is because the further back in time you go, the more transgressive your actions, and the higher the bar of entry for normative relationships. GenZ is far more likely to say "I'm poly" when what they mean is "I'm promiscuous" which is not the same thing. Accepting and broadcasting that you're a hoondawg sets expectations of monogamy and emotional stability appropriately low. Launching into a disquisition about the gender phenotypes of multilateral relationship power dynamics mostly serves to let your partner know it's their fault you sleep around.

i have never met anybody in a legit poly relationship who isn't either 1. dirt poor 2. trans 3. being actively groomed or all 3.

I've met plenty... but my experience with GenZ poly relationships is that GenZ is a lot more likely to justify an unhealthy relationship as unconventional, whereas prior generations are much more likely to let an unconventional relationship get unhealthy. It's a chicken/egg problem but older generations were more likely to argue the sanctity of their structures while younger generations are more likely to argue they have the maturity to forego them. It all goes to shit eventually anyway, it just goes to shit in a different order.