I’m in Madrid with my parents, doing all the awesome museums and eating delicious food and planning my other trips in the evenings. It’s a bit rough hearing my dad listening to the news about the Ukrainian bombings twice a day and discussing it a we walk around, but otherwise we’re in good spirits. Today is some Spanish celebration and the show of military planes above the city was a bit unsettling in this context. Damn I missed traveling! Feeling excited about Detroit and Mexico next. I forgot how much I enjoyed planning and working some magic. Still get bouts of sadness and loneliness from the breakup, drunk texted half my friends yesterday evening to make more plans that will keep me busy. I know it’s partly just coping, but I’m happy to see my friends are there for me in those moments :)
You and I have some similar coping mechanisms here. Stay very, very busy which I think can be a great thing because you can end up in some interesting situations and take whatever life throws at you. Something I know, you, in particular, are really, really good at. Hope you've been doing well. Been dealing with a 3-year breakup. These things kind of suck, hah.
Yeah, I’m pretty good at getting shit done and improvising in a given situation. But I feel I’m in the most uncertain phase of my life at the moment. No more job or relationship - something that has actually never happened to me in my whole adult life : I met my ex the summer before starting university. And with my life experience and just the past few months of meeting people I have this weird confidence that I’m likeable and capable enough to make whatever I decide to do next happen. It could be anything from completely changing career orientation, moving cities, finding some interesting lovers… Or all of it at once. it’s just kind of scary and overwhelming because it feel opportunities are endless but I’ll have to make a choice before I’ll want to stop bumming around the world. Also in a little bit of an angry phase. At myself for staying in a relationship that stoped serving me a long time ago. At my ex for not trying harder to make us work. Did not know I had so much repressed anger at the situation, I wonder what other layers are still hidden there, FUCK.