Uhm. I'm going on like 4-5 dates in the next 2 weeks? I don't know.
When I moved to Atlanta a year ago, I'd assumed I'd do grad school for two years then work some federal government job or private job and start saving up money. I told myself I wouldn't date in my program because that can get messy fast so I was going to focus on schoolwork, likely not doing any dating during the two years. I bought a place since I intended to stay locally and wanted to lock in a good price, which I think I did. But then very quickly into the school year, I met my current girlfriend and it's been going extremely well. But she can't stay in Atlanta for health purposes. And it's getting to the point of her having to apply for jobs in the next few weeks. So it's about the time to decide whether I stay in a city that is a fun city where I have extremely affordable living in a good area, especially useful because student loans, but is way too humid and hot, requires a car, and has no good hiking within two hours, or do I follow my girlfriend, losing my affordable housing? It's an extremely tough decision and one that I thought I'd have about 15 weeks to decide, also leaving a lot less time between decision and potential move, but is now about 3-4 weeks away with an extra twoish months between decision and potential move. We've both discussed and we both see a future with each other and are committed to that happening, but it's still a huge decision regardless, especially since I decided to buy. Otherwise, classes are going. First week is officially done, and I'm onto the second. The epidemiological methods class this semester was making sense for the first half of lecture yesterday, then without warning started introducing the Greek alphabet for no reason and I got super lost super fast so lab today and the homework due in a week will be an interesting time for sure. But the GIS class (ArcMap, since I know some of you are curious) is super cool so far. The professor is super chill and is just obsessed with maps. Among the assigments this semester are map-based songs for a map playlist, and a link to the coolest map you know. He's great. Other classes feel like they'll just be average and I'm okay with that. Thesis still waiting for IRB approval. Might take two months. I was hoping to start well before October, but now I'm not so optimistic. steve (thanks again!) is one of my interviewees for an assignment I get more info on later tonight and is due in a week. It's about disaster preparedness I believe but it's a bit vague right now. There's one more interviewee spot open if anyone wants. Shouldn't take more than an hour, and will likely take less than that.
Life does like throwing curveballs, doesn't it? The sure way to make life throw you a curveball is to make a plan... then BANG! Curveball. So... any chance you could rent the house out? You and your girlfriend could relocate somewhere else, make enough on renting the house to pay the mortgage, and try settling somewhere else? Then, if things don't work out (and even if they do!) you still have the equity and home to leverage or return to.
It's a small condo building with all the rental spots being used and a reportedly extensive waitlist, so no dice on renting it out.
Cosmetics are substances or products used to enhance or alter the appearance or fragrance of the body, which has become an essential element in our daily life.
Family grateful for health, which in general, has been quite good. one kid gets surgery on Friday which should be uneventful, but recovery will be tricky and slow. school drama seems to be at a minimum. Work still good and on the right trajectory. new boss is quite great. a member of my team is occasionally combative, regularly unpredictable, and sometimes volatile. Balancing between giving someone emotional space to work through issues and not being a punching bag is occasionally tricky. Life health experiment is going well(ish). reducing calories and changing what you eat is bizarre. On the one hand, it's super easy. you just decide what the plan is, and execute it. on the other hand... when you spend decades associating food with pleasure and social exchanges and a love language and then basically shut that off - it's an adjustment. Maybe I'll write about this someday when I'm further along in the experiment. Miscellaneous I vacillate between "it will all be fine" and "there will be blood in the streets" as I loosely follow headlines about top secret documents, mid-term elections and other news stories. I think that maintains a low-level amount of constant anxiety that requires tending to.
I hear ya on the food thing... ever since I did the keto diet and lost 40lbs several years ago, I've been very thoughtful about my food. Almost nothing comes in a package; everything is fresh from the meat market or produce stand. Portion size is about 1/3 to 1/4 of what a plate at a restaurant contains, and I am comfortable, happy, sated, and eating delicious food. But this bout of ennui recently has me going back to old comfort foods from years gone by. Pizza. Burger King. Taco Bell. Big hoagie style sandwiches. Grocery store deli shit. Etc. And I feel like crap. Sure, the food has some sort of sensory tastiness (or nostalgia) that is good at the moment ... but then the heartburn kicks in. Or my "regularity" is adversely effected. My energy levels are down, because none of that is "food" or quality calories to keep my body (and mind) powered. My Dad's Alzheimers and old age (86) have basically robbed him of any real sense of taste, so he's down to basically being able to sense sweet and salty, and that's about it. So when we were at the park the other day and there was a desert food truck, I figured we'd get an ice cream or something. Turns out dude was selling a scoop of cookie dough with a scoop of ice cream on top of it, covered with chocolate chips. Dad and I had one. I was up all night, sick and sugar buzzing, unable to sleep or puke... but just be miserable the whole night. Previously, if I wanted something sweet, I'd literally break off a SINGLE SQUARE of a super fine chocolate bar, and nibble that thing for the length of an entire TV show. To have such a sugar bomb all at once was ... destroying. Blech. Food is important, man. So important. Gotta give the body the right fuel to operate, or shits just not gonna go right... but there's the social element that is so important...!
My spiral staircase arrives today, between 10 and 4. It's a LOT of steel that I have to unload myself, inspect, and ensure no damage and all parts are there, before the truck leaves. So I have basically put myself on "tentative" availability all day for work, and am sitting here with my work clothes and gloves, ready to jump up and get to work whenever the truck arrives. Then I need to get all the pieces in the back yard, set them up for finish painting (they are coming primed only), so I can get them dry and ready for install this weekend. In other news, I went to a little fundraiser/get-together with a bunch of my old circus friends, who have gone on to set up a very successful dinner theater in Seattle ... and didn't have much fun. I just don't like being around people anymore. I don't like small talk. I used to be a social butterfly, zooming around, checking in on everyone, connecting people together, leading community-building projects, and just DOING a lot. Now? After an hour I had to go. I just had no more words inside my head to say, and didn't care what the other person was saying... which is just rude. If you aren't going to listen to someone, then don't waste their time, I say. So I left. I'm in a weird middle-space about a lot of things. My motorcycle isn't "right" for me anymore. But I don't know what make/model/style is "right". My job is a minor annoyance that I could keep doing for a decade and then retire. Or I could pursue one of the other opportunities I have just been presented with. But ... meh. It's just ennui. All the way down.
So.. That conversation (If I'm Hubski-ing correctly) has borne some ugly fruit. My manager pressed one too many buttons and I swore at her. It was fleeting, I tried to leave the situation initially, but she followed and pressed the point. Cue a meeting with her later that day where I hoped she would apologize, give me a chance to apologize, and we'd continue on as normal. Nope. She went straight into HR, policies, my reputation. It became a battle of "Who has the most to lose" in as polite-but-passive-aggressive terms as possible. I explained why I was so wound up, and she avoided apologizing but did suggest she had misread the situation. Essentially she always comments on my appearance in a negative way, and as I'm the only male in her staff I often feel a bit attacked. She realized that HR would 100% back me in this situation and suddenly there was no mention of performance management etc. Since then we've had another meeting where she was glowing with praise and encouraging me to look at opportunities elsewhere in the organization. I played along, if it means she'll give me a good reference I'm happy to take it and run. Turns out she has a.. difficult.. reputation trailing behind her; so I'm confident that if push came to shove, my reputation isn't tarnished by her thinking poorly of me. I'd just be another person who "crossed" her, in the eyes of other people. So the hunt begins for a new role, got a few interviews lined up within the area. On the plus side - my groups DnD campaign is picking back up, and I've been writing for the past.. 6 months? 80k words into one big project, and completed lots of smaller projects. Even if they never see the light of day, I've had so much fun creating them.
I would prioritize this lateral move above all else. Execute as quickly as possible. You are currently a problem she needs to solve. You will become an enemy she needs to destroy faster than you think. As soon as she's had time to figure out how to skunk you with minimal blowback to yourself, she'll do it. You getting out from under her in as prompt a manner as possible will burnish your reputation and harm hers; you're going to want to be in a position to give two weeks' notice as quickly as possible because she'll reject it if she can. The clock is ticking down and your peril increases.
I agree - I've got one potential lateral move, and one potential promotion being discussed (without her knowledge). She would likely help me get into a lateral position, but I want to do it quickly and give her less time to influence things. Your point about me being a problem is spot on, I am 100% an issue for her and I need to go smoothly and quickly. I'm doing my job, my team likes me, the peripheral team likes me, and she is burning bridges at a rapid rate but she has operational oversight in the area and upper management (like everywhere) loathes admitting they made a mistake in appointing someone. So not only does she have a good deal of power, the group above her don't want to weigh in too heavily because of the questions that will be asked.