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I love that you admit to owning a fanny pack
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Not gonna lie - my "purse" as a teenager was a denim jacket until Memorial Day, when I switched from jeans to cutoffs, Tevas and a fanny pack. It didn't even have a hackey sack in it. Then at sixteen I dated a girl whose absentee mother, a Hell's Angel, called it my "fag bag." Now - should I have given a shit what an overweight biker bitch whose absenteeism and general failure as a parent damaged her daughter badly enough to declare "Don't Fear the Reaper" our song? Certainly not. Nonetheless, I haven't owned a Fanny Pack since the USSR fell.