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comment by am_Unition
am_Unition  ·  1037 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: SpinLaunch conducts first test of suborbital accelerator at Spaceport America

I've thought about this more.

I can't come up with a better scheme to fuck over unworthy venture capitalists.

I am pro SpinLaunch.

Elizabeth Theranos is also great.

Just don't get caught.

Hey Devac, what/how do you want to do/scam?





Devac  ·  1037 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I can't come up with a better scheme to fuck over unworthy venture capitalists.

    Hey Devac, what/how do you want to do/scam?

That's a tad blatant steal, but sure.

OK, so we all know spinning is a good trick. Anakin does it, LHC does it, SpinLaunch does it. But that's their folly: too many moving parts!

Imagine this, a revolution in the field of ballistic coming in a shape of a cylinder under vacuum.

"How does it move the object?" you ask? Easy. Forget of the by-gone era of complex rotor with(out) a counter-balance or chemical propellant.

It'll utilize the tremendous power hidden in a svelte form factor of a cranked-up spring.

That's right, only TWO moving parts: crank and trigger.

And here's the opportunity for synergy™: Elon Musk already works on vacuum tubes with carts in them, all we need is convince him to forget about that silly electrical automobile gizmo and finance our Spring Theory research.

BTW, my working name for the device would be The Tosser™.

kleinbl00  ·  1037 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Needs:

- Blockchain

- IoT

- RMR

- Leasebacks

We're gonna call the company KNsys which we will require everyone to pronounce "kinesis." Our logistics will all exist on a Solidity/Rust hybrid chain powered by KNE, or "Knee" tokens that are L2 ZK rollups for no good reason. Owners of KNE will finance Tosser™s and get to see their utilization - there are only so many Tosser™s in existence at any given time which means as they wear down the opportunity to build new ones helps drive scarcity and investment in a virtuous cycle. The position of any Tosser™anywhere in the logistics cycle will be determined by triangulation on the Helium Network because of course it will be.

demure  ·  1037 days ago  ·  link  ·  

...as a service

Devac  ·  1036 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I had to look stuff up, slap myself awake reading WTF leaseback or RMR are, and felt genuine regret for writing my shitty pitch.

So, you wanna do sales and marketing? Right now, we can pay with the most precious resources in the known universe: exposure and meatbread.

kleinbl00  ·  1036 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Unfortunately for us, my friend, neither of us are the children of Enron VPs and thus we are unlikely to get to pitch this to anyone with money.

On the plus side, we may be leaving the era of stupid money behind for a time. I remember when "let's sell pet food UPS" went from world's best idea to world's worst idea in the turn of a NASDAQ; back then you still had to pay workers so our internet serfdom wasn't yet inevitable. But even now, the "let's buy scooters for $150, rent them for 10 cents a mile, trash them after two weeks and expect to turn a profit" company is eating shit, the "let's sell a $200 exercise bike with a $100 tablet for $2500 so we can charge people $80 a month for videos" company is down 84% from its ATH and the "let's do an end-run around the listing process so we can skin the rubes more easily" movement is running out of steam.

Things will get stupid again. So much stupider that a spring-launched orbital payload company will get money. Until then, we'll have to settle for shitty post cards.

am_Unition  ·  1036 days ago  ·  link  ·  

This is all fine by me. I hereby notarize your comments.

We now have a legal team, and I hav-

leans in and whispers

They say we don't have to pay the workers (who will be in charge of spring compression) a living wage if we plan to kill them, but we just can't let anyone know that we knew about the very high likelihood (100%, in fact) of killings. I thought about using robots or something for the crankening, but a large team of children jumping up and down on the spring turns out to be better for the bottom line.

COUGH Anyway.

Phase II will be asteroids, to mine rare Earth metals. And India is the perfect asteroid-catching shape! We will not feel the shockwave deep down in our tunnels, with enough workers working the entrances.

The problem is that after we scoop up the metals, the market may not be good for it. I've got analysts projecting that people will be much more valuing stupid shit like food and water after the asteroid hits. That's OK, because we've built the option to short company shares into our contracts. Someone left alive will buy them, we've already begun the PR work to ensure.

It's possible we will do some healthy, forced insemination to drive the annual growth needed after the asteroid thing, because Phase III is pretty ambitious. Did you know that there are no markets yet in neighboring star systems? If we get there first, we could plant the company flag and really corner demand, I think.

Dear Christ Almighty, we are smart!

We earned this. 😎

Keep up all the hard work, Devac!!

Devac  ·  1035 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I thought this was supposed to be a scam, not '70s Bond villainy.

am_Unition  ·  1035 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't know how you can say that when I haven't outlined the ways we're going to be doing sexism yet.

No women. Absolutely ZERO women, and I mean everywhere. We will have synthetic reproduction. This has become The Phase 0.0 "OPERATION NOW" target for our company. We expect to make and distribute at least ten thousand synth reproduction units, but perhaps as many as ten billion.

This company policy WILL be attacked by feminists, who are selfishly only trying to not die. It turns out (I just had another team tell me this, correction from Elon Musk) there is a resource shortage, and it's better if US Boys (this company name is polling) just kinda take the helm and the resources, like we have been, but even more now.

So and I guess my main point is that I'm not sure why this sort of thing can't go forward? The business model is the only business ever modeled. Our company isn't going to bore people with academic posturing, and so I didn't bother reading your other post with the technical discussion of spinning.

Jobs! There will be them, and for pretty much everyone alive at the time of job posting, I think, which does currently include you.

kleinbl00  ·  1035 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    No women. Absolutely ZERO women, and I mean everywhere.

DEFINITELY no longer a Bond film

kleinbl00  ·  1037 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I will admit to occasionally surfing eBay for their swag.

I still lament not purchasing the autographed Mars One blueprints when I had the chance, despite the fact that they were like $70.

I have so much crazy insider art that if I had more wall space my universe would look like the murderer's house in CSI or some shit.