My date was successful in every way except in the way that engenders new dates. At the very end of the evening, around 1 AM or so, when we were alone together, he told me, we couldn't possibly date because of the distance, but if I wanted to hook up, you know, of course that would be fine. And I said no, I wouldn't be doing that, and I left. I had a very fun time though, and I felt things. And the guy was super attractive to me and I think this helps me isolate some more of the traits I'm looking for in a person. Some people who you'd definitely tag as being "on my side" (moms and friends) think that the dude could've been more careful with my feelings. If he knew he didn't want to date me because I lived in VA, he knew that before I ever came up for the weekend. And it is accurate to note that the dude is the one who pushed some escalation of the expectations of the date; he's the one that asked to call me on Thursday (and we spent 40 minutes speaking). He's the one who kind of kept bringing up relationship expectations when we hung out. I think that's ok. I think people can be confused. I was willing to see how things could be. It turns out he doesn't have family near me like I thought, so that's a factor that changed over the course of us hanging out (just because I'd made a wrong supposition). I do have to admit this isn't the first time a guy has had me at his place at 1 AM after several, several hours of hanging out -- to only tell me then that he's unavailable for some reason. (This is the second.) I don't know. I got to get fabulously dressed up, I even painted my toenails, and I looked amazing. I'm confident that as a date/weekend, I freakin' killed it. So, although rejected, I left the weekend really appreciative of 95% of the experience. Kahneman says that we have bad memories, and we will judge an entire experience based on the last 5 seconds or minutes of it. If that little bit of time is negative, we'll perceive the whole thing negatively, even if most of it was positive. I'm not going to do that with my weekend. I enjoyed a heck of a lot of it. :) And then I ran 9.32 miles on Monday because fuck it, if I get rejected, I'm going to go out there and get me a win. (PS. Wasn't it a mutual rejection anyway? He rejected dating me, while I rejected having sex with him.) Musings from adulthood ---
OMG are you me but four days later? Sorry it seemed promising only to end up the way it did. You seem to have a healthy view of it, recognizing things you'll be looking for in the person who is right. I got rejected a week ago when the girl I'd been on a few dates with over a month said she couldn't see having a relationship with me. So last Friday I went and ran my third best ever half marathon. I fucking crushed it. It was a two loop route, and after a blistering pace (for me) I ran the second loop even faster. Meeting up with someone else this weekend. There were a lot of things I liked about this person, things to look for in the future.
Yep. Life is not a book or a movie, that moves orderly from one scene to another and ends at a predictable or slightly surprising conclusion that makes sense and follows a specific story line. Life is trying shit out, and doing the shit that works, and not doing the broken shit again. (Hopefully.) Sounds like you both "won" this weekend ... had a lovely time with another person, and then moved on with clarity. Good on ya. Hopefully all your encounters are as respectful and honorable! "I think that's ok. I think people can be confused..."
Terrible pain in my right wrist - near where my tennis elbow issues were - so going to get a massage tomorrow and see if they can reprogram the interior gooey bits that seem to be malfunctioning. My home office desk sucks. This is my third attempt to get it right. Hopefully tonight the craigslister will respond and attempt #4 will be the perfect one. (Well... my desk was great, until I pilfered it to make my music workstation in the other room ... and now I haven't been able to get the right balance of size, stability, depth, materials, and height quite right.) Took a beating at work yesterday, when I lost a deal we should have won easily. Lessons learned. Wounds are still open and raw ... I rarely fail. So I don't recover quickly after. Around 1:00 yesterday I went outside into the sunshine... and didn't come back in for 3 hours. It was blissful. I think I may do the same right now, in fact....
Other than my eyes bleeding, life is good. Heading camping this weekend with some friends to go brewery hopping. They're headed up today, I joining after work tomorrow, so I will be missing out on a bunch. But that is ok, because the one brewery I really care about is on the list for Saturday and our appointment is booked. Everything else is gravy. I'm bringing a bunch of the beer I picked up out while I was out west a couple weeks ago. Going to have a little tasting at the camp site Friday night. My daughter's school has decided to stick with hybrid attendance because of a local spike in positive COVID infections. Which is good. So she is in school Mon/Tue and every other Wed. And next month they open vaccine availability to 16 years old so she can get the shots. Too bad she couldn't get vaccinated before we head south to visit my mother next week. My wife and I finally agreed on a fence design, so I will be starting that project after we get back from vacation. Hopefully I can get the materials. I would order them but last time I ordered supplies from Home Depot it took three weeks to arrive. So I am going to try and source it locally.
Life is good, enjoying being busy :) Weather has been a little wet and sucky, and I need to prep my garden soon. I don't think I'll sprout seeds indoors this year - i'll plant what seeds i have directly in the soil when it's warmer and get the sprouts at the market already started. I will cost me a little more, but I want to try it out see what difference it makes. Maybe the bought stuff is better quality? And it will definitely save me time and space inside the apartment. I think i'll add some hot peppers to the mix this year too. Made a hot sauce last year with some home grown peppers from my friend and it was delicious. I'll try for tomoatoes again, hopefully they grow bigger than berry-size this year. I'll re-plant radishes and salads too. And some dill, basilic and mint outside the planter to take over instead of the weeds. I already put in garlic last fall, but it might have been too cold already. Already preparing for the struggle with squirrels, i think I need to build a better enclosure this year. Year 2 of gardening here I come! Many lessons learned last year, and I'm sure there will be much more this year too.