oyster ya know, that was actually a part of the conversation last night. It's not even a laziness thing so much as a "crippling over-analysis of every possible outcome and scenario" thing...which does have it's benefits it certain situations, but I think is more a "using a hammer to solve every problem" mechanism right now.
Ya for me it’s a fear of not being able to live up to expectations, because every expectation anybody has had of me didn’t take into account that I was dyslexic. It always looks like laziness for some reason, I think that’s why perfectionism has to be pointed out by other people. Like I have a great picture in my head of what I want to do, but completely lack the tools to get there. The perfectionism comes in when I am given the tools to do something, meet or exceed the expectation and then still feel like I must be falling short. I started a new job recently and every single time I’ve been asked how I felt about my own performance at work I’ve been told to not be so hard on my self and it’s like...oh? You want me to relax? Meanwhile in my head I thought I picked this super small thing to fix and was super nice to myself. I’ve been looking for books lately on this, if I find a good one I’ll make sure to recommend it.