I know that antidepressant. It pushed my cousin into catatonia, had her dad involuntarily committed and made my aunt go voluntary for two weeks. When she wrote this in a letter to my mother because my mother was on it, my mother responded by refusing to talk to her for a year and a half. Oh and leaving her husband of 30 years and driving cross-country to land on her high school ex-boyfriend's doorstep without telling anyone. We had an APB out on her.

A therapist I am friends with but not a client of told me that I need to get over my mother's selfishness because selfishness is a hallmark of bipolar disorder. And also the meds take away all the fun. Sure, maybe but I've got a scar on my forehead from being bodily picked up and thrown across the room at the age of six for fighting with my sister about couch cushions at 9am on a Saturday and waking her up so... yeah that was 40 years ago and she'd try to do it again today if similarly provoked.

But my mother is not your wife.

The tricky part is compliance. If your wife is willing to play along you can have a life. It sounds like she is. I sincerely hope that continues. I've seen healthy bipolar relationships. What they seem to have in common is the non-bipolar person can't let their life be subsumed by the bipolar person. The happy equilibrium my mother's husband has reached is "she does what she wants and I pick up the pieces" and I can watch him convincing himself this is what he really wanted every time I see him.

Hang in there. And no matter what, take care of you. You've just become accessory to a family tragedy and it will not be anyone's first instinct to consider you as a person, rather than the sidecar on the motorcycle.