Cheap nursing homes for the lot of them ASAP.

I have lately been working out the logistics of dealing with my parents. My mother's new husband has been suffering enough sciatica that he's been falling, never a good thing as you're touching 80. My mother gets half of my father's pension and social security; she's burned through everything else she has. We know that she's got long-term care insurance, also through the divorce, but just like the pension, it evaporates the minute my dad dies.

On my mother's side, all spare money goes to two adult children in their '50s who have never been able to hold down jobs (and none to the two that do, both of whom have distanced themselves). On my father's side, all the money goes to Team GR. Although I'm pretty sure my sister still gets an allowance at 41.

And I know that I've been written out of any will.

It's a little galling trying to figure out how to arrange a soft landing a thousand miles away for a person who threw you across the room and left you with a permanent scar on your forehead.

Nursing homes in WA state average $100k a year.