I have to admit, I struggle to watch more than one episode of Queer Eye at a time. While many of my friends seem to love the show, I cringe at its "american-ness". Especially, about the "culture expert", that, with the ease of reality TV, comes storming into the lives of people with old struggles and troubles and "fixes" them through a staged meeting with 2 homosexual ministers or the guy that shot them.

It is hard for me to "buy it". It is too romanticized while in reality, this shit is hard.

On the other side, I appreciate this piece as it shows me what my friends (who I think highly of) seem to see in this show, even though I struggle to watch it myself.

I grew up in what could be considered a hornet nest of toxic masculinity, an Arabic town in the middle east. As you might imagine, being a "slightly different", sensitive male in such a world was neither easy for me, nor for my father. To sum it up, I wasn't exactly the firstborn son he has hoped for. And it showed in the way he treated me.

I guess I was lucky. I was lucky to leave my hometown when I was 18 and escape to Germany. I didn't know, back then, what I had signed up for. But I am glad for the change I went (and still going) through.

My way has been bumpy, with side tracks that led me through the "Pick-Up Artist" world on one side and the Burning Man world through the others. A healthy amount of psychedelics, messed up relationships, some seasons of Ru Pauls Drag Race and POSE, and I am still confused.

But somehow I feel better. :)