Fuck this week.

I'm fine, personally. Work isn't going great, but whatever - we're in a pandemic. I'm lethargic and unmotivated, but I'm an ass in a seat and I'm meeting deadlines so fuck em if they want more right now.

A black man, James Scurlock, was killed by a private citizen in Omaha last Saturday while he was protesting. The shooter was an avowed white supremacist and business owner who ignored repeated warnings from the police to avoid the downtown area and trust law enforcement to protect their property. He had an expired CCP, but brought a gun anyway. He started firing on protestors in front of his store ("Warning shots" evidently), and when a 22 year old man tackled an active shooter to try and disarm him? He was shot twice through the neck and killed. The shooter was released after less than 24 hours with no charges filed, and no bail paid.

That's less time in jail than some protestors I know. For killing a man after he tried to defend himself and his friends. Read about it, if you're curious

"In this community, we prosecute black and brown individuals a lot more for things like we just watched," Wayne said, referring to the surveillance footage. "It's easy to talk to someone when they're alive. It's easy to get their version of the story when they can talk. We don't know what James would've said."

Citing the state's self-defense law, Wayne tweeted, "NONE of these circumstances were present. NONE. The State of Nebraska does NOT allow you to use deadly force to defend property. Further it is NOT a valid defense if you could have retreated."

Protests here have been peaceful since the weekend, during which some glass was smashed downtown and an insurance building was set on fire. It's a shame to see property damaged like that, but it doesn't change my views of the movement as a whole OR the urgency with which I believe we should be protesting.

I've been out every night except last night, when my still recovering ankle was too sore for me to march. Since I couldn't donate time, I donated money to my city's bail fund. The leadership here has been fucking incredible; the protests are being led by a handful of young black advocates who have effectively led marches, kept protests peaceful, controlled crowds with their voices, and guided the city's frustration into a positive and useful direction. I'm so fucking proud of these people - teenagers, some of them - and yet frustrated that my city has such POWERFUL young leaders in it who will never hold public office, because 'Nebraska Nice' only exists in face-to-face interactions and I don't trust people not to bring racism and prejudice into the voting booth with them.

I know shit's going down nationwide this week. I've been involved in my local community, and I've been trying to use my social media platforms to amplify the voices I think need to be heard. It's tiring, but I feel I have no right to complain when I view much of this work as a self-imposed moral imperative. Hope everyone is staying safe and wearing masks / social distancing. Black Lives Matter, y'all.