"Thanks for taking my call, Mary. XYZCorp feels that we need to respond to this Coronavirus thing in a way that reassures our customers that we're still in business, that we empathize with their struggle and that we look forward to taking their money regardless of the apocalypse we're going through. Do you have any ideas?"

"Well, Bob, the real problem is even the most splinter-crew commercial shoot is going to be three camera people, four grips, two lighting guys, a couple PAs, two producers, a half-dozen of your people and a sound guy. Meanwhile we can't shoot at a studio because they're all closed. We can't rent any gear because all the rental houses are closed. We can't get a parks permit because they're all closed. And we haven't even started talking about talent."

"Hmm... nonetheless our audience must be satisfied by our gravitas. What's possible?"

"Well the editors have all their shit at home anyway. We can buy cheap-ass stock footage off a half-dozen sites. We'll cut it under canned music that we buy for $100 a month and get your favorite actor to record it into their phone for voiceover. How's Tuesday sound?"

"Fabulous. Bill me."

click