I think you should let yourself off the hook. I think you are FAR from alone. I'm trying to forgive myself a lot these days. Everything is different - how could we expect ourselves to not be affected? Thanks for posting the craft fair.... I've been not in a good place emotionally enough to even look at the threads until now. Thanks for making the world a little better.If ennui is a disease, I'm suffering from it right now. I realized that my surface-level emotions are stable, but the underlying emotional framework is Not Okay. I'm in a weird mental space right now, and I feel somehow unequipped to participate in Hubski? If I understood why I felt that way, I'd tell y'all.
Hey man, we gotta push back the dark somehow. An old hubski sticker on a long-since retired journal begs the question, "What can be learned?" Not to box anyone into a particular interpretation, but the question has always felt ambitious to me - it's a guiding light of the discourse we have here, a fundamental principle from which all goals can be derived. It's also a question from a frame of mind that feels incredibly foreign right now, but searching for the emotional means to express myself...The incongruity of it feels nostalgic, and I think that nostalgia bears the mark of an ambition that I've set down for the time being. It was a guiding principle before, and I think that principle has changed meaning for me while we all search for normalcy: The goal is to return to the mindset that created this account in the first place. The ennui is dissonance between the goals that we made and the reality we're living, and "What can be learned?" is a lighthouse back to the person who made those goals. If I can stick with that understanding, I think I'll come out of this a little stronger. Sorry for rambling, I hope the purple prose doesn't eclipse my meaning.Thanks for making the world a little better.