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comment by kingmudsy
kingmudsy  ·  1714 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 18, 2020

Y'know I feel wholly unqualified to offer you advice because we're so close in age and so different in experiences, but from what I'm reading it sounds like you're putting a lot of expectation son yourself at the moment to avoid music and do school out of a sense of duty.

I'm not sure what following this advice looks like - which is why I'm so hesitant to give it - but if music makes you happy, is it not worth pursuing in some form? I know you've still got to pay the bills somehow, but do you think the rest of your life could be framed as existing to support your passions in a satisfying way? You posted that onion article about "Doing what you love on nights and weekends for the rest of your life," and it makes me think you're probably not happy if music / other passions aren't somehow the focal point. If that's your gut instinct, I think you should give form to the idea and use that as a guide for a bit.

No matter what you do, I think the dissonance between what you want and what you feel like you have to do is clearly hurting you, and it's all mixed in with malaise about your hometown and your parents...It's complicated, man. I wish I knew how to help you untangle it, because I don't have to pay the bills you're paying, and I don't know what kind of costs a lifestyle oriented around happiness rather than duty would have...But one pseudo-anonymous abstraction-of-a-person to another, I hope you find a way to strike a balance