C'mon, Vox, don't send readers to David Icke's website.

Send them to his Wikipedia page. If you start reading that, you probably won't stop for awhile. Cumol: He vehemently denies that he's an anti-Semite, there's a lot of history on it in his wikipedia article. Sorry David, but we have some trust issues, bud.

Yeah I stumbled on a bit of David Icke content like senior year of high school, may have been some stupid geocities site and/or forum, and considered it for about a day, before realizing that David Icke is just insane. Of course, I was wrong, Icke is just snake-charming the crazies, and then taking them to the bank and emptying out their pockets. Business models like that are currently having a heyday. Social fucking media. Hey that reminds me...

I've spent maybe an hour and a half cruising NextDoor newsfeeds, comments, and ads over the last couple of months. I realized that I haven't ever really rubbed shoulders with normie babyboomers since entering adulthood, and I gotta say, it wouldn't be difficult to stoke fear, or even semi-successfully peddle something with a name somehow worse than "Goop" to this demographic. I watched a large group of my neighbors, in a thread, over the span of a couple of days, convince themselves that the sound of some kids shooting off artillery shell fireworks twice on Friday evening, and three times on Saturday night (spaced out with at least an hour or two in between each time), was actually gun shots. There are very few violent crimes in this area, which makes the idea that a slow-motion shootout is occurring even more hilarious. I stepped in to explain what was going on, but everyone quickly resumed to reinforcing the gun shots theory. There was even that classic HISSSSSS after one of the shell explosions, not to mention the THUNK you could hear when the thing shoots out of the tube. I almost started typing up another comment to explain in more detail, but stopped. I figured that it could end with the cops showing up at my doorstep, 'cuz I suuuuuure seem know a suspiciously large amount of information about these fireworks. Sure enough, about 4 hours later, even without another shell having gone off since the night before, not just one person, but several people got worked up enough to call the cops. That's probably the only time I'll interact with NextDoor in my life. "Interact", because this is a new flavor of dumpster fire for me, of course I'm going to rubberneck sometimes.

Let's explore this, though, hypothetically: What should I try to sell the 'boomers on NextDoor, Hubski?

Aside from people's paranoia, lizard people are thought to primarily come from the constellation Draco, though there are some theories that reptoids come from other systems like Sirius and Orion too. Basically, they're aliens.

Yeah but now they live in the center of the earth. They got here in the moon, which is a hollow space ship.

PSSSST: when they say "lizard people" they really mean "jews"

I love the whole lizard people thing. I swear the CEO of Capital One is one. I mean, presuming they exist. But look at his freakin' face and tell me I'm wrong. Lizard people and hollow earth are my favorite conspiracy theories.