Pubski, what are you doing?

Last night I went to Banff Mountain Film Festival as it made it's way into town. One of my favorite nights of the year! It's a great excuse to run into a lot of friends who I may see once a week, and others I see once every few months to drink some beer and watch some amazing outdoor adventure films. That said, man, I find myself getting pissed off.

One of the films was about the Grand Canyon and two people hiking the length of it (730ish miles) and a development group wanting to put in a tram and resort at the confluence of the Colorado and Little Colorado rivers, which is a sacred place for 3 indigenous tribes. I think one of the most poignant points was the former Ranger Superintendent of the park making the point that they are not there to provide an experience for every single person based on their ability. Not all outdoor spaces are for everyone. But it pisses me off that people continue to try and do this, it pisses me off that Bears Ear National Monument was shrank, it pisses me off that people are trying to start a resort at Mount Rainier. These are not mistakes, these are purposeful decisions attempting to reshape the landscape of our public lands to industrialize and Disney-fye them. And it is, and I'm sure will for the rest of my years, continue to drive me crazy.

Meanwhile I'm at a point where I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with my partner and it's really not a ton of fun. I like her, I like spending time with her, but I'm currently at a point where I am just waiting for the next issue to come up - will it be this week? Will it be three weeks from now? I don't know, but I know it's going to happen. Things were amazing and fun for a while but for the past month plus they haven't been and as I reflect on things it almost makes me want to say that the most relaxed and most "myself" I have been in a relationship in the past long time was either the start of this relationship or the 3ish months I was the 3rd in an open relationship.

Maybe it's that time of year where I start to freak to fuck out because it feels like these things bubble to the surface around the Holidays most years for me.