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comment by Devac
Devac  ·  1890 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 25, 2019

I'd like to thank everyone who reached out to me or spared a thought in passing. It means a lot, and I'm grateful to know so many wonderful people.

It's been a difficult month. Dealing with the death of someone close is never easy, but the hole after my father's passing is something I can't seem to get through. He was only sixty.

We weren't on good terms, but at least there was always some minuscule potential for improvement. To this day I receive condolences from his more distant friends, acquaintances, collaborators, coworkers etc. There's a degree of dissonance between what they say about him and my own memory, but I suppose it's normal.

I dialled his number from memory one time, and it took me a few moments to realise what I just did. I know that I'm not over it, but life has to go onwards. In that way, I'm still not completely over the fact I had two brothers, even though it's been fourteen years. They aren't here, and I know it on an intellectual level, but I sometimes stop to think about what they might be doing now.

Despite my manner of writing, I'm not nearly as much of a mess as this post. And there's good news too. First, very late this Monday, I became an uncle, and to a first girl born in our direct line in at least four generations. It was premature birth, but she's as good and healthy as a 7th-month delivery could possibly be. Second, I got into my first choice PhD programme and already went through orientation, TAship stuff etc. Whatever comes next, I'll at least be busy.





user-inactivated  ·  1889 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thanks for coming in and sharing.

If you consider this post a mess, then I'm impressed with your messes.

The adage of 'seeing grief more like waves that come and go, rather than a hill to pass over.' has been useful for me looking back (and forward).

Congrats on becoming an uncle! Exciting times. I'll be joining you in November - unless its a surprise set of fraternal twins, we're in a similar all-boy trend. Good luck with the PhD program.