For a couple of months now, my wife and I have been involved in this plan with a group of people to rent an entire chartered fishing boat and a beach house, and go tuna fishing this weekend. Thursday-Monday. Nothing but chilling on the Oregon Coast with dogs and friends and beach and one long-ass day on a boat (for me; she was gonna back back at the rental property with the dog and have a doggie-and-mom day on the beach).

Over the last two weeks or so, I have had an inkling that something is amiss with my wife and our plans.

This week - yesterday - they came to a head. She and I had an honest talk about our weekend plans, where we both spoke openly and honestly about What The Heck Is Going On Between Us, and we decided to cancel the trip.

It's too late to cancel, so we just lose the $600+ dollars we paid in advance for the house rental and my seat on the fishing boat.

But it doesn't even matter.

Literally the instant I sent the message to the organizer and our friends, the energy in the world around us shifted, and we felt lighter, and more connected with each other.

Both of us had our reasons for not wanting to go, and for wanting to go. And both of us didn't want to disappoint the other with our reasons for not wanting to go; or to pressure the other into doing something they weren't into.

Now I have 5 days wide open.

And I don't think I'm going to tell anybody. I'm not going to work. I'm not going out. I'm gonna just take the time to BE.

Heh. Right.

That ain't gonna happen. The water always finds a way around the seawall.

But I feel like we made the healthy choice for us. And that feels amazing.