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comment by galen
galen  ·  2138 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 16, 2019

Had a doctor's appointment, got a referral to a psychiatrist. Made an appointment with a counselor from the school, and I'll ask the psychiatrist for a referral to a proper therapist. Priority number one right now is getting out of this deep funk; then, figuring out how much homesickness is just depression manifested and how much is "real"--in other words, whether I will be able to manage this once I'm healthy, or whether I really need to look into ways of going home. Baby steps.

In the meantime, I wrote a poem.

splinter (11:29pm)

  Tear out these new roots,

so young

they're just splinters.

I don't need another home.

I got mine.

Orange bright across our skyline

Hill country of my heart

I got

roots.

I got home.

That

empty road across your soul

that

silence before the sunset,

this is where my grandfather died,

and I couldn't fly in to see him.

That's home, motherfucker.

Take me back.

Doesn't help that I'm writing two presentations and two papers and starting a new job this week. The stress is hell on my mental state, but what can you do. I already put off one presentation and the job for a week, eventually I just have to do it. Wish me luck, y'all.