Happy new year Pubski! Figured last year's idea to write myself a letter begged for a followup. ---LEAVE IT IN 2018--- There's a beautiful painting someone posted here about a year ago (that I can't find right now), depicting someone facing a vast empty plain after ascending many carved out stairs. 2018 was the year for me that I finally broke free from the predefined life that is college, out into the open. In more than a few ways, I've realized that I am not the same person anymore as I was when I was a student. My priorities and context have slowly but steadily shifted away into something else, something better, and 2018 was when I realized this slow process is almost complete and that I don't feel the urge to go back. It's also a year in which I have felt less like an individual and much more like one person at the intersection of a a dozen or so social circles. No man is an island - I tried for many years, but I'm so much happier embedded in a community, in a relationship, in the company of friends and family where I can simply be myself and feel welcome and appreciated. After almost two decades of struggling with feelings of loneliness, I think I've been able to leave a significant part of that behind. ---BRING IT IN 2019--- Considering that I started my real first jobbyjob out of college, I feel like there's a long list of things I learned this first year that I want to bring along. Some things that stood out were that I realized that I'm a very goal-oriented person in the workplace. I genuinely expected others to be on the same level as myself and was surprised to learn this was not the case. It probably helped that I read the book Essentialism earlier this year, which crystallized a bunch of ideas I've had about my work ethos. This year I was also confronted with my own loyalty. I want to be the person other people can depend on. If I commit to something, I will make sure I deliver come hell or high water. At the same time, my work requires me to shift priorities on a daily and sometimes hourly basis, so it's quite the balancing act. Sometimes that means I can't deliver and I have to disappoint the very people I committed to not disappointing. 2018 was the year I dropped the ball a handful of times, and I've started to learn not to resort to shame but to show tenacity instead. On a personal level I have found someone in 2018 that I grew to adore. I've rarely felt more appreciated, valued and understood than I've felt with her this year, and I dearly hope to stuff the box of 2019 so full of moments like that that it'll be hard to put a lid on it.
Happy new year hubski. I'm counting calories again. That's not specifically a new year's resolution, it's just a necessity of the season. I also removed a bit of my finger with a vegetable peeler the other day, so typing right now is a bit slow. It will also be kinda hard to play bass until it grows back.
Dude. Weight loss should NEVER include removal of body parts. That's like, Kardashian-extreme! :-) Hope the bass-playing finger heals up quickly. Now you can practice working on fingerings that strengthen your other fingers and increase their dexterity! Upside! :-)
You're in Los Angeles and it's cold. Your warmest garment is a hoodie. Fortunately it's not too cold for a hoodie, especially when you've ridden 38 miles today because they closed the path somewhere new (leading to a three mile double-back) and because you met a buddy for pizza and now that he's got a fully loaded Tesla 3 there's no room for a bike in his ride (leading to 4 miles out of the way). Unfortunately the homeless think it's cold and so they're burning garbage and tires so now you smell like campfire. WHO THE FUCK BURNS TIRES TO KEEP WARM. Tomorrow I buy groceries. At least the beer is cheap. It's funny. I can get full bottles of Baltika 7 at the local grocery store for less than I can get empty beer cans on eBay. Capitalism.
Zork's bleakest timeline.You're in Los Angeles and it's cold. Your warmest garment is a hoodie. Fortunately it's not too cold for a hoodie, especially when you've ridden 38 miles today because they closed the path somewhere new (leading to a three mile double-back) and because you met a buddy for pizza and now that he's got a fully loaded Tesla 3 there's no room for a bike in his ride (leading to 4 miles out of the way). Unfortunately the homeless think it's cold and so they're burning garbage and tires so now you smell like campfire.
I'll be in LA tomorrow thru Sunday. Well... Santa Monica. Going to visit the ole homestead in Altadena, hopefully. Primary purpose of the trip is to have focused time with an Australian friend of 15 years... who I have never met in person! So not sure how much time I will have - or you will - while I'm there. I'll text ya.
Happy New year! I'm back to work today after a week and a half off. It's ok. It's uncomfortable to run after eating too many cookies and pies, so i took a full two week break from exercise. Probably a mistake since I am signed up for a half-marathon in less than 8 weeks. I will be so slow. Christmas was nice but chaotic. Parents and in-laws are both less than an hour away so we dida huge amount of driving back and forth the whole time.
I'm normally in the office and at my desk by 7:AM. I'm a morning person, and far more competent/capable before about 2:PM, so I come in early, get a shitload done before anyone else shows up, and leave early every day. Being out of the office since December 20th - 12 days!! - and mostly spending the time at home, I sometimes didn't get out of bed until 10:AM... so today was kinda hard. I've been at my desk for 2 hours, and my coworkers are just starting to roll in... bleary eyed, and mainlining coffee. I'm not throwing shade... just remarking on how weird it all feels. My vacation really was a vacation... I got FAR away from work, the mentality of the office, the projects I was working on... and getting back in to it is a little odd. ===== In other news, 'coworkers' is oh so much better when pronounced 'COW-orkers'. You are welcome.
I got a raise and a vague new title, without a clear job description. So people are starting to pull me in different directions, depending on their interpretation of what my new job title means. My goal is to make sure the people with the best ideas win, and pull me and my job in the right direction. That's my primary goal.