I wrote this in 2015 and it models after the relatively well-known poem 4th of July at Santa Ynez. I. Under the blue tent canopy relief from today’s defiant sun. Chatter winds its way up in background, cheerful hum made by all the young men and women playing at their majority. II. Wandering apart from the others as ever, I found Adam in the kitchen from one pot to another, to a new guest, to a bottle, to his camera. Last year he made clams and I drunkenly stood over them and ate til they were gone. The year before he didn’t have a party. Just the four of us found a pool and drank, repeated the same lines from the movie TBS always repeats – Independence Day – and then I left them, like I always do. III. This year I asked Adam for a party. Last time we were actually face-to-face had to’ve been December. But we talk sometimes. We email banter against work boredom. There have been nights we’ve locked together, puzzle pieces, how man and woman do. Those often stretch far apart. I’ve given him so many chances but between the two of us some lever clicks. Our engine sputters. Our belts are loose. We aren’t good romantic partners. In my mind I’ve come to the bow that we don’t know how to talk together. Still. IV. The afternoon gathers shadows of its prior selves and those we haven’t seen yet, too. Slowly, more slowly, we may learn how to yoke and pull and turn in step. Or if we never do no one will weep. I no longer bother wondering why Adam continues to reach for me. Maybe we’ll be ready and the whole work will snap in place but if not, in the meantime, I will come and spend a couple hours or an afternoon each year he invites me (he personally) commemorating the only ritual we have, the only anniversary. It’s largely innocent. I love repeating memory. Of course, it would be ours, Independence Day.
Fourth of July at Faulkland Heights