It is interesting, because you can sit in a room with somebody and know when they aren't being vulnerable or emotionally open to you. A friend of mine was telling me once about a program he was doing for work, it was a few weeks long and he spent it with the same people who were all new to each other. At the start everybody was getting along and he thought it was going really well socially. Then one day he realized that everybody else was really progressing beyond that as in socializing outside of this program while he was just kind of stuck or left behind.

I think a lot of people can relate to that, the feeling like you're on the outside when you suddenly realize that all your coworkers hang out outside of work and you aren't as close with them as you thought you were. Just sitting there and feeling the distance grow. Even with my friend, it had nothing to do with his personality, he got along with everybody there during the day in a natural non-forced way but the connection just wasn't there to push things farther.

I struggle with long term emotional connection as well and I'm realizing lately I'm not going to find some simple quick fixes or checklist of things to do for connecting with people. Our eyes and facial expression give us away, how we carry ourselves, our tone of voice and how it all flows together. We all see a difference when people look at us versus when they look beyond us or beyond whatever it is they are seeing. We can see that in photography and we can also draw it. It's like they may not be telling us what they are thinking or where they are but they are letting us see that they are going to this place. They are comfortable going to this place while we are there and that's vulnerability. I think with writing we can feel the vulnerability because we can feel the flow as we read. If you're having a natural conversation with somebody it will flow well unless they are over analyzing every little thing. I think it's similar for writing.

I don't know though, I'm no authority on the subject, I just watch people eat but it's honestly very interesting. I know how to connect with somebody while I'm serving them. I've got a water colour painting of Lake Louise that somebody gave to me after they finished eating. I was working on a patio literally in front of the lake and she felt bad that she had been short with me when she first arrived so she asked her father who was with her to paint it while they finished up. It's only really meaningful when you know the story though. I think some people can look at art like that without seeing anything deeper and some other people want to know the story.