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comment by OftenBen
OftenBen  ·  2621 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Maybe Women Won't Date You Because You're Awful

    But valuable enough to change your belief system over ?

Not what's happening, not what I meant in my critique of your statement.

This particular discussion is one expression of a set of larger society-wide problems. Reductive statements like

    I don't care how close you can get to some guys favourite porn fantasy sex is not that magical.

create an adversarial environment that need not exist, and put us farther from possibly helpful alternatives. This particular article is about sex, and is a direct reaction to an equally un-nuanced article that is also explicitly just about sex.





oyster  ·  2621 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Helpful alternative too what.

OftenBen  ·  2620 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I like to dream of a day when regardless of title, everyone with strong feelings about equality and respect between the sexes can be part of the dialogue.

At the moment, there isn't much in the way of dialogue because in part, of adversarial framing of issues.

oyster  ·  2620 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Adversial framing of what issue ? The first article is silly garbage and the next article is just a response to it. Your comments are just more silliness that doesn't mean anything.

You know what makes the article so stupid ? Since when are all trump supporters single men who can't get laid? There are women who voted for Trump as well, it's not like liberal woman are these men's only chance.

OftenBen  ·  2620 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Adversial framing of what issue?

With regard to the link ref posted, the issue of lots of single, angry men being taken in by political radicals. We can frame it in an adversarial way, like you did with your OP. Or we can frame it in a more compassionate way, like 'Why is it that when a bunch of sad, angry, lonely young men went looking for someone who cared about their problems, the only listening ear they found were literal Nazis?' Not saying that's perfect, but it's less adversarial than 'DAE men suck, and should keep it in their pants, and they probably smell too.'

oyster  ·  2620 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Trump isn't all that great but he's not some political radical. Did a bunch of nazis vote for him ? Sure, but so did a lot of other people considering he is your president. This isn't about Nazis, this is about men voting for Trump, who women also voted for. How do you even know how many of these guys are single and unable to sleep with somebody ? The original article is about guilting the other side for not just shacking up with the guy who voted for Trump. Just like every dumb article blaming liberal people for Trump because they were mean to some redneck that one time.

I'm not saying people don't switch sides because they lack actual beliefs and Becky on side A is mean. All my Aussie friends are posting stuff about the vote coming up to finally catch up with marriage equality and on every one were "yes" people said something mean there's a comment saying " pfft and they wonder why the yes vote is dropping". Shits not about Becky being a bitch, it's about whether or not you believe in equality.

The end of the article didn't frame it like that, it points out that maybe if nobody wants to date you you're the problem which isn't unfair. Sometimes as adults we realize it's not everybody else that's wrong it's us. The article isn't talking about how these men didn't find anybody to listen to their problem. That's not first date material. That's stuff you turn to a friend for, and that could be a female friend in terms of men who can handle having female friends. It definitely won't be some girl he might have been having coffee with had she not had that darn support for planned parenthood on her okCupid profile.

The original article is ridiculous and I don't see the point of trying to twist it into something that has merit.