I feel consistently on the verge of collapse. I think trying to deal with feeling is probably what my definition of adulthood is for awhile. On my head is the relationship between my ADHD and depression- at least, I'm beginning to realize that there is a relationship between my careless moments of ADHD causing a lot of anxiety and the ensuing depression caused by the looming inevitability of fuck ups. Does anyone want to hear my epic fail of a virginity story? I told it at a storytelling show: I have complex thoughts about how I feel about how it went. The problem is that I was invited to tell this story after the producers heard the one time I told it amazingly, with a highly reactive crowd. This crowd was so lukewarm in comparison. The idealized version in my head will always have precedence, I guess.