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comment by OftenBen
OftenBen  ·  2910 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Lil's Book of Questions: Who Would You Like to Talk to and What About?

I want to meet my parents when they were my age. I want to understand them, and who they were before their lives took the massive twist that was my birth and diagnosis. I want to see what their relationship was like for the 2 months they had a healthy, happy baby, no mountains of debt, no years of worry and stress added to them.

Basically, I want to see if their relationship was always doomed, or if I was a causative agent for their eventual separation.

Some questions just don't have answers.





lil  ·  2910 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My guess is that it was always doomed - although an unhealthy baby puts a strain on any bond they might have had - you could also be a cause for them to examine their feelings and needs and become closer. btw, a healthy baby also puts a strain on any bond a couple has.

btww: Without the forces of society, religion, family, repression of needs, repression of awareness, valium, secure jobs and so on keeping the couple together -- without those things, relationships are mostly doomed, at least for the first 3 or 4 go-arounds. It's usually in the first one or two tries that the kids arrive.