Kinda cute how when you're back after an absence your previous questions also pop up and you can see what you were thinking 1400 days ago, like the question of freedom or security. So now you're married and going to be a parent if all goes as planned (or as accidentaly enabled). Which brings me to big experiences over the last while. I suddenly found myself separated when my search for concurrent freedom and security went on a road unrelated to my hoped for destination. What can be learned? New things all the time. I hope that in any future exploration in partnering, neither partner has a secret life. As for hubski "therapy" -- the success rate is pretty good, but regular therapy can also be helpful. And books and conversation and pms. Welcome back.