You guys wake up too early. I have been getting work done at a rate that is uncomfortable for me. I finished off my midterm and went "I'm...doing things? Early? Multiple things, all done long before the due-date?" Naturally, this means something terrible is going to happen pretty soon, most likely. Being more serious, part of this is probably because my roommate is cool and I actively want to hang out with him so I do work early to make time for it. I walked into the apartment last week and saw that he had vacuumed without me having to ask. I almost fell to my knees and cried. Here are my best inktobers this week: 
I've been up since 5am. It's convenient because then I don't have to deal with my roommate. He's filthy. He threw a party and left beer bottles on the counter for four days. The dishes sat in the sink while I was in Seattle. He did them before he went to work yesterday. I came home to find them drying in the strainer. Here's a coffee cup after he's cleaned it. He has dandruff. The couch (which he broke) is brown velour. I sweep it every day. Here's what I came home to yesterday. I just bought tickets home this weekend so I don't have to be in the same place and time as he is. It's worth the extra $200 to not deal with his slovenly, oblivious ass.
My roommate weighs 350 lbs. He eats a lot of burger king. 'sokay though 'cuz he eats zero calorie salad dressing. But his business takes a while and he's got his phone so he'll be on the can for 45 minutes to an hour. And then he gets up and his ass is numb and his leg is asleep so he stumbles. And that's why the toilet is broken off the flange. It leaks. Onto the floor. And that's why the towel bar is broken off the wall. And that's why the couch is broken. And that's why the end tables are broken. He went on vacation during the summer. My other roommate literally threw away his sheets and pillows and bought replacements. They were beyond laundry.
I didn't pick this guy. He's an acquaintance of my actual roommate, who is in NM filming something for Netflix until Dec 17. My buddy rides herd on the slob and gives him grief about it, but has never seen how bad it is when he's gone. So either I can scold the shit out of a 27 year old grown-ass man or I can passive-aggressively take photos of the damage and book flights.
Oh, the joys of roommates. Have I mentioned when the lease is up, I'm moving in with the girl? 'Gratz, hubski, you're the first people I've told. Is it scary? Yes. Is it also, to my mind, the best possible housing choice I could make? Hella yes. cc: lil