rd95: kleinbl00: I think we become mentally paralysed because, you just can't help everyone or everything you care about. In India I was somehow proud of how I'd managed not to let all the poverty, misery and suffering affect me, albeit a big mental struggle. On the day we left, I had a small bag of left over fruit and food we'd bought and saw a small girl come up to the car as we were on the way to the airport, so I opened the window and handed her the bag. She immediately rushed to the curbside and five or six other kids appeared from nowhere to her side, and she shared it all with them. The fact they were all obviously starving and she still shared her bounty with the rest of them somehow broke the floodgates and left me in silent tears. I spoke to a friend who's spent a lot of time travelling through India with a small disaster relief organisation and asked him how he coped and how you decide who to help and who not to help. He said it's impossible, so I asked him what can you do? He replied "You just help this one and that's all you can do" by which he meant since you can't help everyone, just focus on helping where you can and let that be enough. It doesn't solve the problem of choice, but it helped break that paralysis of what to do in the face of overwhelming need. After a while I got used to seeing them and while they saddened me, I became numb to the sights. I feel really shitty typing that out, but it's the truth. If I let every sad thing I see on the road side get to me, I'd go crazy. I think anyone would.
It's been on my mind ever since. Every person on the street is somebody's Paul. And I need to do more. I'm not sure how yet.
I spent a year leading a group of a young people in a program of community service. Sometimes the work was easy and everyone got helped, and on those projects, morale was high. Other times, we found ourselves hopelessly discouraged. Everything we did was like a drop in the ocean. So there's a story we learned and told ourselves. It's incredibly trite, but we often found ourselves thinking "starfish, starfish" just to keep going. She had been doing this for some time when a man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? Look at this beach! It's littered with starfish for miles in every direction. You can’t save them all. You can’t begin to make a difference!” The girl seemed crushed, suddenly deflated. But after a few moments, she bent down, picked up another starfish, and hurled it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied, “I made a difference to that one.” The old man looked at the girl and thought about what she had done and said. Inspired, he joined the little girl in throwing starfish back into the sea. Soon others joined, and all the starfish were saved.A young girl was walking along a beach upon which thousands of starfish had been washed up during a terrible storm. When she came to each starfish, she would pick it up, and throw it back into the ocean. People watched her.
While I have nothing profound to add to this thread, nor do I think any psychoanalysis is even appropriate. But, I'll write that this anecdote's theme was the very first thing I had thought about whilst finishing reading up. And I saw it come together as such: It's not completely in the same dimension, but I think it's worth mentioning I've read similar words here on Hubski already: Every person on the street is somebody's Paul. And I need to do more. I'm not sure how yet.
It's easy for us to become numb to the struggles of the world. In the small moments though, it's important to act, because everything that is big and important is made up of those small moments.
You just help this one and that's all you can do" by which he meant since you can't help everyone, just focus on helping where you can and let that be enough. It doesn't solve the problem of choice, but it helped break that paralysis of what to do in the face of overwhelming need.
Small changes and careful actions can be enough to start making a difference without driving yourself crazy.
That is when I realized that if i had started to change myself, I could change my family, who could change my community, who could change my city, who could change my country, who could change the world. --- I've quoted that here a few times before. I truly do believe that small change can lead to big change, and indeed that small change is the only way to create lasting big changes. I think that all of these quotations are evoking that idea - small change leading to big change.First I tried to change the world. When I realized I couldn't do that, I tried to change my country. When I realized that that too, was impossible, I tried to change my city. When I realized the futility of that, I tried to change my family. This was of no use, so I tried to change myself.
Thanks for posting it again for fresh eyes like myself. In a semi-haunting juxtaposition, for some weird ass reason my brain made the connection of Martin Niemöller's "First they came...". I guess the similarity lies in an individual's power/voice in the face of great opposition or inertia. I can see especially lately why you'd have quoted such before granted quite a few posts and/or comments I've read around hubski with regard to our varying levels of awareness in relation to direct to take either in our lives or moral dilemmas. The more recent example being rthomas6's post, and the highly relevant reply from _thoracic....I've quoted that here a few times before.