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comment by oyster
oyster  ·  3122 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Dear hubski, what do you look back on as your proudest moment in life?

Or be a dick cleverly.



kleinbl00  ·  3122 days ago  ·  link  ·  

No, that's not even it. This is a heartfelt, intimate discussion about deeply held beliefs and feelings and there is absolutely no possible way forward when someone just steps right in and says "that's bullshit."

It's stultifyingly bad manners and serves only to stop discussion cold.

I've got plenty to share. I've got lots of stories. But you get a response like that and you not only think to yourself "fuck this website" you think "fuck everyone under 30" because if I have a choice between saying nothing at all or getting lambasted for volunteering my experiences, I'm gonna go watch Mad Men reruns.

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oyster  ·  3122 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That's because " that's bullshit" isn't a clever way to be a dick. You can realistically be a dick all the time but get away with it if you're clever. Being clever has basically the same benefits of being pretty.

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kleinbl00  ·  3122 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I still disagree. It doesn't matter how silver your tongue - when you are speaking to silence discourse, the other party knows it. In fact, the more nimbly you do it the more likely they are to resent you because they feel powerless to defend themselves.

If you want to have a conversation you have to make room for it. "You're wrong" is far less useful than "I disagree because." "I couldn't follow" beats the tar out of "you confused me."

There once was a kid from Siberia

Who lashed out at certain criteria

He'd throw down the glove

Then shout "I need love!"

But it just made me exit the area

Is clever. And real-time. I can be clever as fuck. But it's still just me, being a dick, shutting down conversation.

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user-inactivated  ·  3122 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    There once was a kid from Siberia

    Who lashed out at certain criteria

    He'd throw down the glove

    Then shout "I need love!"

    But it just made me exit the area

See, now you're talking. Not sure I appreciate being called a kid, though.

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oyster  ·  3122 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ah, see I'm talking about "being a dick" in a more general way. Not how to cleverly say "that's bullshit". It's too strong of a statement to leave the other person convinced the discussion to follow will go anywhere. Well, most people.

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user-inactivated  ·  3122 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I feel the urge to reply with a pretty clever pun.

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Devac  ·  3122 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't get it. What pun?

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swedishbadgergirl  ·  3122 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The urge is shared.

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