a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by oyster
oyster  ·  3197 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Why Women Smile At The Men Who Sexually Harass Them

I deal with this stuff all the time by just smiling like the author talks about. Maybe if it didn't happen so often I would get mad but I don't have time for that. Also it's one thing for it to happen when I'm out but I honestly encounter this more in my workplace with customers and coworkers. I doubt many people want to cause a scene at work.

I relate pretty well to what this author is saying and it would piss me off if somebody suggested I was making it worse by being friendly like her boyfriend does. If nothing else you're buying time which has proved very valuable in my life. Just be friendly until your bus shows up and the man will stay where he is. Ignore him and he'll likely move closer or try to touch you.





_refugee_  ·  3197 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't know where you work or what kind of industry, but if I regularly felt cat-called or harassed by my coworkers, someone would be hearing about it. Customers you can't control, but coworkers - you shouldn't have to work in an environment where your so-called peers are busy objectifying you.

How can you possibly put out good work in that kind of environment?

I am sorry that this is such a daily occurrence for you. I would be trying to get out of there ASAP, or reporting to HR/management. A coworker grabbed my wrist to look at a tattoo I have about three weeks ago, and I'm still mentally trying to come around on that. I can't imagine anything like the boundary trespasses you seem to deal with.

oyster  ·  3197 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's happened at a few workplaces but I have also been lucky with some places too. When I was like 15 my friend was going to try getting me a job at a golf course with me just driving the carts around but said it likely wouldn't happen since they don't hire attractive girls for that anymore. To many complaints. Having said that it hasn't been every workplace that was like that. I actually work in a small company with just 2 or 3 other women now and it's pretty awesome. I have also worked with great men. I'm studying to become a massage therapist and I feel like I will have a lot of control over dealing with creepy customers in that role. Partly because I can be my own boss and partly because it's high in demand so if a place doesn't treat me right I'm gone.

kleinbl00  ·  3197 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The closer you are to sole practitioner the more control you will have. There will still be some but in areas where massage therapists are valued (ie NOT California) the majority of business is earned through word-of-mouth. This goes out the window when you start working for a spa or whatever. There, they'll choose their therapist by picture, not reputation.

oyster  ·  3197 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I live in Canada and things are pretty good here. Some provinces aren't regulated yet but they are pretty good at regulating themselves. Ideally, working for myself or in a physio clinic would be my goal. Spa could be great but I have definitely heard of some I will be staying away from. Working for places with a bad reputation just aren't worth the damage that will be done to my reputation.