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comment by caeli
caeli  ·  3218 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Monthy Morale Menagerie 2016 - January Check-In

My main goal was to get back down to my early high school weight which entails losing 9 pounds. I've been surprised at just how easy it is!!!! I've already lost ~3.5.

I have some more nebulous goals that I haven't put on the sheet and I'm really struggling with those. In particular, I'd like my research/experiments to affect my self-worth less. My experiments haven't been going well, and it's easy to feel like it's because I'm stupid or incompetent or whatever, even though I know that's not the case. I'm just not sure how to tackle this problem...





rezzeJ  ·  3218 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Congrats on the weight loss, great work!

In regards to your other goals, I don't know if it'll help your peace of mind but I can make an analogy to music composing.

I'll often start off a new piece and anywhere from the the first 1-10 proper sessions will sound like shit. I wont like how it sounds. It makes me feel incompetent. I want to give up. But after a while of chipping away, remodelling, and experimenting, an idea that works starts to emerge. The failed musical experiments act as stepping stones to the successful experiments, and so through to the working idea. Though the process may not be enjoyable, it is necessary.

They say you can't polish a turd but having some manure sure helps fertilise the soil.

caeli  ·  3217 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thanks for the pep talk, I slept on it and feel much better this morning :). Failure is inevitable, and even good sometimes! I've learned a lot from my failed experiments over the last couple of months and am ready to tackle the problems with them.

Cumol  ·  3213 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hey caeli, I can relate to your experiment problem because I very often encounter the same. For me it is also mixed with fear of failure, fear of disappointing my boss and losing my job (which wouldn't happen) and then the self-doubt that I am not made for being a scientist.

Often those feelings and thoughts run in cycles and I try to rationally "solve" the problem. But the problem are the thoughts themselves. The more you engage those thoughts, the more you go in cycles and the faster you wear out. Behind those thoughts and feelings sits a strong and self-confident caeli.

What does it for me (and this is a relatively fresh realization) is to notice I am having those thoughts and then not engage them. The more I do this, the easier I am able to "come back" and focus on what I am doing and tackle the experiment on a more rational way, without the feelings of self-doubt obscuring my view.

I hope I was able to help :)