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comment by snoodog
snoodog  ·  3227 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: From Pickup Artist to Pariah

I think its unfair to qualify women as being unable to contribute to the discussion. A woman's perspective is very valuable in understanding what does and doesn't work in dating. It just cant be the only perspective. There was a really common saying that "If you want to learn how to catch a fish you ask a fisherman" implying that if you want to learn how to date women ask other men who are successful with women. I agree with this to a point that if you only could ask one the fisherman might be more valuable. If you could ask a fish as well, why wouldn't you? There is a lot understanding to be gained for both men and women from the discussion its not a zero sum game. Dating and relationships are confusing because we don't really understand each-other the closer we come to understanding the more likely both people will have a positive experience.

The problem I see more is the idea of self-censorship. Ideas that are unpopular and don't conform with the common wisdom get down-voted and flamed into infinity reddit style. There is value in having people with weird/different and even seemingly ridiculous opinions because often those can foster some really thought provoking discussions. When people run around calling ideas they disagree with racist, sexists, rape-enablers, etc. the discussion just shuts down and everyone looses. And BTW in my opinion, men are just as guilty of this in relationship topics as women are.