Being less shitty and feeling less shitty are different things. Expressing forced condolences under the pressure of the social contract is the glue that holds the society together while, in fact, most people don't care so much as to provide a proper matter of attention to the situation and/or to affect it or its aftermath somehow. People sitting at home and expressing feeling sorry for what happened helps whom and how? I can imagine that feeling the public support might help the surviving victims of whatever happened (I'm out of the loop on this one) or their surviving close ones. The "sorreeĢs" will feel better about themselves, having taken part in a good-will movement. What thereafter? I'm not talking about ensuing donations. Great! It will probably help the victims (if there is, indeed, such a need for being helped - medical bills and othersuch), and it will have a real effect on the situation: someone will benefit from that. Could it exist without the wave of "I commiserate"? I don't know. I hope it could: as shitty as human beings are, I sure hope we're not that shitty, - but I don't know. I'm not talking about any sort of volunteering, either: if it indeed changes the situation for the better, I support it. Is it cynical? Yes, it probably is. I am quite in that mood for people who do something and assume that they do good simply by the virtue of saying a few contractually-obliged words. It rubs me the wrong way when someone claims to be doing good without actually doing it. It's not meant to be an offence towards you, rd95, for I don't believe you claim anything of such matter. I don't mean to shit on attempts of people to do actual good: I mean to put to light the fact that not everything that feels good is good.Anything we can do, to be slightly less shitty, shouldn't be shat upon.
Feeling good is good. The way we think and the way we feel has a direct impact on how we navigate through life. When we are angry and frustrated, we have a tendency to act negatively. When we are content and hopeful, we have a tendency to act positively. How we act affects others, it ripples out from us and we often don't even notice it. If someone shares condolences to alleviate some of their negative feelings, they're doing themselves good. Further more, if their condolences create an atmosphere of caring and community, they are doing others good. Even if people say something out of a sense of obligation, they're showing that they care enough to say something, otherwise they wouldn't feel obligated to say anything at all. Are there better ways to do right by the world and have a greater impact on your community? Absolutely. It doesn't take much effort to go out and contribute positively and I encourage you to do what you think you can to do so. Don't dismiss the little things though, because sometimes even they make all the difference in the world.
Maybe I am dismissing the little things about it; maybe a part of me thinks that rather than doing little you better do nothing at all or go big, in a rather black-and-white perception of it. Still. It bothers me that we encourage such superficial nonsense. Click a button, and you're abolished of your sins of uncaring. One's encouraged to say a few words and thinks of themselves as, indeed, doing something of value, when the fact is - their words are not of any value. What creates the atmosphere of caring is caring, not some memorized phrases uttered over and over. You'll show caring whether you use the phrases; it won't be a choice but a manner of acting. I don't mind people saying whatever they truly feel about an event. In fact, I encourage it. That being said, it's hard for me to believe that a meme phrase is capable of conveying true feelings of any person - otherwise, the person in question is too flat to exist. I will believe it when someone says "I'm angry at those assholes doing the evil acts". I'll believe someone saying "I feel so sorry for the victims of the events". Believing that one "#praysforparis" I'm incapable of.