Oh man, I feel you. Given your situation, I can see only one way to do this: go full-ninja and disappear. Stealthily find a job somewhere - away from where they expect you to be. If you have a cellphone, change phone numbers (and providers if you can). Find another apartment without them knowing. If you need to, make yourself a new email and Facebook account (I recommend against the Facebook though because they could find you too easily) And don't contact them again until you have your life sorted out. Yes, it's going to be hard. Yes, you will miss out on live some more. But after that, your life will be yours - you will have the money, resources and will to say no to them and to work around the shifty business they will do to continue their behavior behind your back. So unless you can reason with that narcissist mother, and somehow make her accept that you're an adult now and need to live for your own, it's easier to fly under the radar. And who knows - maybe the worry of a few months, if not a few years, without her son/daughter will make her see how toxic she was. At any rate - best of luck with your situation, and I hope for a decent resolution, sibling-in-arms. You've done me good, in the past - I, too, am there if you want to talk.
Thanks. I appreciate it. Well, your solution is... radical, to say the least. A year or two ago, I would have agreed with you, most probably, but still wouldn't go for it. Thankfully, some people in this very comment section have already shown me that there are better ways to do it. I'll use the benefits I have towards me, and in the meantime I'll do my best to rebuild myself into a person I want to be. I've survived 20 full-contact years with my parents - I can do four more, especially since those are separated. Still, thanks for sharing the solution. I may be able to scrape the ideas for something that fits better into the general plan.You've done me good, in the past - I, too, am there if you want to talk.
You're welcome. And my solution is very radical, yes - but remember, anything a narcissist gives you may, eventually, be used as a weapon against you to try and guilt-trip you into not leaving. Take that as you will.
I know that. I also know that I don't owe anything to anyone unless I decide so, as per proof from zero (which I have to expand upon on Hubski sometime in the future). I know how this can be used, and hopefully, I will recognize the attempt at the moment. Let's see how it goes.but remember, anything a narcissist gives you may, eventually, be used as a weapon against you to try and guilt-trip you into not leaving. Take that as you will.