I've spent a lot of time in both gay bars and lesbian bars, and there's a difference between the two if you're a guy. When you're a straight guy going to a gay bar you have to announce your straightness otherwise no one is going to know. When you're a straight guy going to a lesbian bar you're much more out of place, sometimes. I've been to "lesbian" bars that have a pretty broad mix of folks and everyone is friendly and there's nothing awkward about it, but I went to a lesbian event at a lesbian bar with a group of friends (all lesbians) that, for a bunch of unimportant reasons, decided to leave me there alone for 1.5 hours. I hung out for about 5 minutes before I went outside to wait for them to come back. I ended up going home instead, but that was more to do with how long I'd be waiting outside than feeling out of place once they came back. While I was outside I overheard them turning groups of straight people away at the door, and this more or less confirmed my suspicion that I wasn't really welcome there without being anchored to a group of lesbians. No one said anything to me, but it just felt weird. I didn't want to step on anyone's toes, and I got the feeling that I might have been, although I don't think I would have been kicked out if I had decided I wanted to wait it out. For me it didn't make a lot of sense to kill other people's vibe while also feeling pretty awkward myself, so I booked. I feel like this could happen in all kinds of situations and rowdy bachelorettes are annoying to absolutely everyone except annoying bachelorettes. When I went to gay bars I was usually with gay friends, but for a while a sister club of the one I worked at in my early twenties did a gay night that was on an off day of mine and a coworkers and we would always go hang out and have free drinks. We could have easily passed for a couple and we never bothered anyone; had a great time, danced with gay dudes, and there was never any drama. We were both pretty easy going, though, so YMMV. Anyway, segregating bars by sexuality isn't going to happen unless you're doing a private event. Dealing with obnoxious twats is something that is going to be a requirement at any bar. If you're having issues anywhere, as a performer or as a guest, you should try to get the staff to take care of it for you. If they won't, you may need to find a different place to do your thing. That's just how it goes, for the most part.
As a queer woman in lesbian bars I've experienced the opposite of your story. All I can say is that straight guys, I could usually tell why they were there. Some just lived in the neighborhood, it was their local watering hole, and never bothered anybody or hit on anyone. Some came along with their lesbian friends. The only time I had a problem with straight guys in a lesbian bar is if they were hitting on the women there. So, if I'd met you in one of these bars, I'd be ok with you. I much prefer mixed bars. More variety, more open-mindedness. And the mixed softball teams are way more fun. The one thing about straight women going to gay/lesbian bars is that lesbians have a much harder time figuring out which women are straight, and who is gay. You can't always tell just by looking. (Male sexuality, I've found, is much more overt, direct, while female sexuality is more subterfuge-like.)
Yeah, don't get me wrong, I may not have put enough emphasis on this, but I only ever felt out of place when I was alone at a very aggressively segregated lesbian night. If anything I've found it easier to talk to women at lesbian bars because there isn't a weird sexual cat and mouse game going on and I feel like I can just put on a casual persona and chit chat. I don't think that I would necessarily seek out a lesbian bar without a lesbian friend (actually I know that I wouldn't,) but if my neighborhood bar happened to be one I'd probably feel comfortable enough getting a drink once in a while. The sexuality of the clientele would never really be me first concern anyway.