Another thing I have learned is that there seem to be ranks of "success" and "failures," and that if you aim for a big potential "success/failure," all the other targets you are shooting at pale in comparision. For instance as I've mentioned I am applying to MFA programs this fall. I am also, as I usually do, continuing to submit my writing for potential publication at various lit mags around the everywhere. I get rejected for publication a lot more than accepted and sometimes that sucks and sometimes it sucks more. Like the time I got a rejection back 2 hours after I sent in my stuff. But you know what? I'm applying for MFAs now, and I'm terrified. And all of a sudden all my publication submissions seem like small change in comparison to the weight of the MFA programs and their pending success/failures. I'm not saying that's great, haha. I guess what I am saying is there is always a bigger fish. Once you feel like you are used to one arena you will find there is another one you want to conquer and it will be just as terrifying and nerve-wracking as this one was, when you climbed into it the first time.
While it may be helpful to try to frame your fear of failure in terms of size (small failures, large failures) the fact of the matter is today's large failure will be tomorrow's small failure. There will always be a big scary potential failure you are working on. Sometimes seeing that what you were afraid of, is really small in comparison to something else, helps you realize relativity, and be less afraid of the small failures. That helps one be resilient, I think. But also, there will always be potential for and fear of failure. Right now your fear is nebulous, and we all want you to overcome it, yourself included. And I hope you will. But after that, there will probably be another fear, which you will also have to overcome. I don't think anyone ever truly overcomes their fear of failure. It's just that, as one gains mastery, the potential failures change. Some day you won't be afraid of starting to write - but you will be afraid the critics will tear your book apart. Or you won't make back your advance. Etc. I guess that is what I am going for.
I see what you mean now, and I think it's fair. I think that the synthesis of our ideas on fear of failure is the closest to correct: that we will overcome one level of fear, to meet another, and to overcome that, to meet even greater one, and so on. Thank you for sharing this.