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user-inactivated · 3398 days ago · link · · parent · post: Is this passage convoluted/difficult or is it just me?
Yes, it's convoluted. Basic rule of (copy)/writing: if you notice in a paragraph you repeat the same phrase multiple times, it's time to rephrase what you're saying in a simpler manner. Example: rephrasing to make it simpler: edit, realizing my last paragraph was still convoluted. Should've been: No, I don't use the oxford comma.The dog from the house on the street was brown. The cat from the house on the street was purple. The chinchilla from the house on the street was fluorescent.
There are three animals from the house on the street: 1) a green cat; 2) a brown dog; and 3) a fluorescent chinchilla.
There are three animals from the house on the street: a green cat, a brown dog and a fluorescent chinchilla.