I don't really know what to tell you, but thanks for replying :) I'd love to say something like: "Well, see, that's the problem. If EVERYONE wouldn't follow that logic of >>someone else is going to do it if I don't<<, the world would be a better place." Except you are right. Someone else is going to do it. In fact, the majority of people is probably not going to see anything wrong with lobbying for Monsanto - and even if they do, they'll comfort themselves with their paycheck, thank you very much. Question is, are you that pragmatic? From experience, people who actively question the conditions they're living in, and especially people who possess the kind of sensitivity that makes them open to depression, are not terribly good at doing the wrong thing for the right price. I know I can't do it, and as I said, I tried. But maybe you can, or maybe (and most likely) you'll find a lesser evil that you'll be okay with. I don't think there's anything wrong with it either way.
I don't think I'm that pragmatic, as you put it. I think I'd just be more depressed. So I'm looking for something else to do. And I'm trying to rip that market logic out of me. I'm trying to get to a place where ending an introspective post like this with the phrase "but what is that good for?" feels out of place, irrelevant. I'm not there yet, but I think I'm on the path. Another thread on Hubski has gotten me considering taking next summer off from school to go backpacking through South America. A change of scenery should do some good. Learning a second language to fluency has to be useful. And I hear Chile, Uruguay, and the rest of that region has a vibrant anti-capitalist scene.